More Than Words

Monday, January 30, 2006

AS TEARS START WELLING IN MY EYES.

CHU ER.
it's a new year, supposed to be a new start for everything.
well, i'm definitely wrg for wishing it'll eva happen at all...

lunch'd wid dad's side at baccarat, plaza by daa park.
didnt had much appetite so i ate lil bit only,
mum start'd her nonsense again. SPOILT MY MOOD!!!
she quarrel'd wid sis and decided to pull me into daa pic again.

left for isabel's hse - aunty jenny's - uncle andy's - grandaunt - uncle felix's.

on our way, we pass'd by so many routes he used to take me
wen he was driving... as much as i wan'd to be happy thru out,
i guess it was jus totally impossible to get him off my mind.
wen past daa prata shop he used to take me and i couldnt help as
tears well'd up... msg'd immelia sis and told her...
she say'd something that it was so impossible to disagree wid it,
"its not entirely rainbows and butterflies everyday.."

i guess i've label'd this new year to be daa WORST one,
not cause of all daa memories i've been missing...

to be living in a world of hell,
i wish you'll still be here..
but to be here and be living in hell too,
pls go find daa one you'll love.

if i should stay
i would only get in your way, so i'll go
but I know i'll think of you every step of the way

and i will always love you
i will always love you, my baby
bittersweet memories
that is all i'm taking with me

i hope life treats you kind
and i hope you have all you dream'd of
and i wish you joy and happiness
but above all this i wish you love...

all daa best to YOU&HER.

as broken up as i've eva been since childhood,
things jus had to get worser den it already had.
daa family seems to be breaking up again,
daa horror and fear i felt... it was so terrrible,
i couldnt help'd but to shout at both of them.
no! i cant stand those accusing, quarreling and shoutings no more.
i wasnt frighten'd to see wad i saw,
i was jus basically TIRED of everything i've seen.
how many more before it'll really eva end.
it isnt only us it's affecting, it had affect'd me emotionally widout
anyone else but fwens noes, to cry wen i wish for a complete family..

i'm tired,
i'm breaking down.
who'll hold me tight???
so i'm still feel save and sound...

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:30 AM.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.
CHU YI.

slept at only 4 this morning and was actually up 10.
aft our reunion dinner at crown palace last night,
we caught our moive i not stupid too at daa 11.50 timeslot.
since we were so damn early, we slack'd at mac and head'd over
to starbucks to find hongxin since she was dere wid her neighbour.

it was so hilarious as joel and her neighbour was trying all means
to irrtate her lyk shit. LOLS.

daa show was fab, esp. daa part where ahbong and gang appear'd..
was supposed to meet ahbong aft daa movie as he wan'd me
to go find him at 400+ to eat steamboat. since it was already 2plus
wid totally no transport anywhere, joel and i cab'd wanting back to amk
den we cab'd back to yishun.
homeSWEEThome at 3. thou didnt wen to find ahbong,
i actually accompany'd him chat on daa phone till 4...
den i was too tired, so into DREAMLAND i wen.

well... he kept asking me a qns, a qns an ans i couldnt give at all.
till now, he keeps bugging for an ans but...
hmmm.. be it YES or NO i dun think it's very impt right. haha.

off to granny's side at 2plus 3 as mum was taking her own sweet time
to get ready. reach'd and only to realised that only matthew was dere
and that daa rest had already left. BORING!!!!!!!
slack'd till ard 5 and off to gonggong's urn at kovan,
met up wid wanting&joel's family dere...
it's been years since i last visit'd gonggong and i really miss him lots,
seeing his pic suddenly was bitsy weird somehow.
i rather see him in real life thou. *if only it'll eva happen at all

to gonggong up dere:
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
PLS BLESS US ALL AND WATCH OVER US CLOSELY.
I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH.
loveLOVElove.

aft visiting gonggong, uncle richard and uncle john's urn,
we left for yanglei's hse. every year, i'll always look forward
to seeing them. this year was bitsy diff frm daa other years thou.
lots&lots of pics taken today, daa kids have all grown up but that
special bond we have nvr seems to drift thou it's a once-a-year thing.

drank some drink that contains 16% of alcohol.
it actually tasted really nice&sweet, everyone was saying that it has
a very strong taste of alcohol and didnt lyk'd it.
i was diff frm daa others i guess. haha. i actually loved it
but limit'd myself to a cup only as....

rachael and geraldine actually say'd something bout yanglei and i.
it was so funny and we actually did something to disturb'd them back.

left ard 9plus and back home i am now...

daa pics will be updated wen i have daa time = )
SOON SOON SOON...

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could i throw it away
Yeah i'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way

Yeah i need someone who really sees me
And i won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and i'll know it's for sure
Then i'll give all the love in the world
Don't wana wake up alone anymore..

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:30 PM.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

i'm finally back to blog aft ~~MISSING~~ for days.
well, due to some reasons i decided not to blog daa past few days.

this week had been a really busy one.
tournaments, test and blah blah blah...

ytd was really a nice day = )
thou sch was er... boring! except for mr foo's lesson.
sch end'd as usual at 12.30, accompany'd daa sisters to daa general office
as steph and weili wan'd to see daa principal regarding daa security guards.
we were outside for quite sometime and decided to make a move first
wid eileen, serene and adeline. train'd back and hurry'd got ready.
met honey, we wen to northpoint toilet since daa guys had not arrived yet.

wen upstairs to meet james and douglas. expect'd, wesley bomb'd us.
some ppl have totally no manners/courtesy to at least inform...
at least we had so much fun even thou he spoilt part of our mood.

first stop, cine to makan. cured honey's craving for shihlin's xxl cheeken.
wen to Kpool but it was so crowd'd so we head'd over to heeren so
douglas could get his t-shirt frm FourSkin.
head'd over to lucky plaza for pool instead, we gurls were really lousy.
so much fun out wid them, daa both of them were really gentleman.
more pooling sessions to come in future = )

over to wisma so i could get a top, got my crown top frm flesh imp
and a skirt frm topshop caught my eyes... *blink blink
it cost 80bucks, so it means TIME FOR SAVING WEILIN...

since my dear honey had to leave early, we train'd back immediately.

-aint he cute. LOLS

separated at northpoint while both guys accompany'd me over
to BK so i can satisfy my stomach...
den accompany'd douglas to power9 so he could get his nose stud..
walk'd wid them to daa mrt station and head'd back.

homeSWEEThome...

*

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE.

woke up and saw so many msgs, since i was semi-awake i decided
to ignore every single one of my msgs.
got up and chat'd wid darren on daa phone as he was working and had nothing else to do but could only leave at 6pm this evening.

nothing much will be happening today i guess.
SLACKZATION will be on till evening den reunion dinner wid relatives.
cant wait to see them and have lots of fun so stuffs will not be rmb'd.
maybe catching a midnight movie aft that if they wan to..
shall see how everything goes later on.

I CANT WAIT FOR TMR.
ANG BAOS, ANG BAOS, ANG BAOS...

MORE MONEY FOR ME TO SPEND!!!

definitely not forgetting daa movie&lunch treat i owe immelia sis.

All the magic's gone
There's just a shadow of a memory
Something just went wrong
We can't go on make-believing...

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:30 PM.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

was up at 3 in daa morning..
i dunno wad got me up but it's definitely not somthing good.
saw 5msgs which 3 came frm him, nothing good bout it thou...
was so.... that i call'd immelia and she told me to get back to slp as i had
to be awake in another 2hrs time, while talking to her i was SHIVERING.
heed'd her advice and got back to my beauty slp which end'd in no time.

was surprised that while i was getting ready for sch,
tears were offically controlable right now = )

was "quarreling" thru sms which wasnt a very good start for my day,
got to sch feeling so stress'd up but seeing 7sistas made my day.

try'd my very best to pay attention during POA but i still
cant freaking get wad mr joseph is trying to say...
maths was as usual, try'd out some Olvl qns and homewk came in again.
recess was duper hilarious cause i was controling my pee wen
we were eating and end'd up rushing honey to hurry so i could
rush to daa loo to have a great relieve... haha.
eng test was alright today, shant say that it's easy as it's a Olvl compre.
chinese was really funny, we were listening to songs and trying
to hide our earpiece so mdm lu cant see it, it was so hilarious that
honey and i couldnt stop laughing at all..

lunch'd at 848 wid weili, steph and adeline. had a slight changed
today, we ate beehoon instead of our usual cheeken rice.
head'd over to NTUC to slack'd and we decided to head over
steph hse so we could get our hands on mahjong...
didnt stay'd long thou cause LIM WEI LI had to leave early again!!!

walk'd to daa mrt station wid her, while i train'd back home.
saw zhihao and two of his classmate...

homeSWEEThome.
shall be having my nice bath soon and shall hit straight on my homewk.

it doesnt mean that wen i wish you all daa best means i'm moving on.
you dun have to use those hush words on me, I'M AWAKE!!!
it doesnt means that wen things turn'd out opposite frm daa way we wan
it means we have to part and have totally no links no more..
but if you wan this to be daa ennding, den it's really up to you.
and to be frank if you seriously think you have no faults at all,
do think harder. no one was perfect in this r/s at all...
thou my changed for you hardly last'd but at least i did try'd.
wad bout you???
wen i ask'd you to change, you will only ans me why shld you...

if keeping silent means i dun love you anymore, go think harder.

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:20 PM.

Monday, January 23, 2006

A DAY OF ENDLESS CRYING.

i guess it's quite obvious wid my title.
owell, was online viewing blogs this morning wen i saw something.
i got scold'd for no reason??? anyway, it's daa last time...

was on daa verge of breaking down but i held on to those tears
as mum was apparently walking up&down infront of me.
hurry'd out of daa hse and met honey, train'd to sch as usual..
got to sch only to realised i had totally forgotten bout daa physics test.
start'd to memorise it and daa bell decides to RING...

P.E was lyk really fun today cause we got permisson frm mr subash
to train privately instead of joining daa whole class for badminton.
made our way down to daa netball court and start'd doing our strategys.
privilege since we were having a match aft sch today = )

we had reading period for eng today since it was mon
and mr foo told us something that got us so work'd up.
apparently, mr teo, our new principal had decided not to give us
half-day this fri. reason being, he wans us to concentrate on our studies.

had chinese ting sei today. thou i didnt study it at all, i manage
to get 8/9 wid lil bit of copying. haha.

physics lessons are always as fun. laughter non-stop once again...
since we arent gonna get our half-day this fri, our CNY concert
is push'd to today. every year seems to be daa same, BORING!!!
daa airforce chinese orchestra guys were invited to play again and
we hear it every single year so everyone start'd chatting among themselves.

changed into our jersey and wait'd for daa rest to arrive...
ate uncount'd packets of wangwang, it's really very addictive.
bus'd to SSP and did our warm-up blah blah blah...
daa match was great, other den daa vainpops daa other team had.
we won 46-8. thou it wasnt really cause we were that strong
but we're all happy enuff for now. injured my ankle, thanks to daa
opponent who had a fetish wid my feet and couldnt stop stepping it.

was really happy and supposingly to be in my bestest best mood
but i end'd up breaking down in daa bus on our way back to sch...
shant elaborate bout it but daa gurls noe and were dere...
THANKS SO MUCH ADELINE, WEILI & STEPH.

no matter wad i say, i noe you'll nvr believe but since
you would rather believe her aft all that has happen'd it's up to you.
i've try'd to mayb explain but it seems to be going down daa drain.
since things have end'd in suchah state.. i doubt explaining will eva help.
for your info, i didnt blamed anyone for our fail'd r/s so freaking
get your facts right before saying anything...
it happen'd between us and no one is supposed to be blame other den us.
thou i did broke down once again and cause it was you,
it'll be my last time crying over you...
all daa best to you and whoeva daa nxt will be.

to val:
thanks so much. thanks so much for thrashing all daa facts right into
my face. making me clear&awake of wad was worth me doing...
thanks for being dere this whole time = )

felt so much better aft crying... got daa gurls so worry'd and am so sorry.
val was comforting me too and told me so much stuffs...
i guess if it really wasnt for her, i'll still be crying over
someone who doesnt even give a bloody damn bout me...

i hope i'll keep myself so busy that it will nvr pop into my head no more.
rest of daa week will be lyk super duper busy..

tues- eng test
wed- physics & chinese
thurs - chem
fri - maths

ALL DAA BEST PEEPS...

it's daa hardest thing i have to do.
to tell myself that you're gone and i'm alone...
but it doesnt matter as long as you're happy,
that's wad matters most..

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:20 AM.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

pics taken frm ytd's CNY shopping spree.
most of it are daa guys cause they were cam whoring wid my cam.

-informal

-formal

*

firstly, thanks so much to val bout ytd... am glad we talk'd it all out.
aft daa chat we had ytd, she'd woken me up,
she told me wad was worth and wad wasnt...
had a HEART-TO-HEART talk wid her,
thou it's been so long since tears flow'd out uncontrollably.
she kept telling me that crying wasnt gonna help no more
but to only stand tall&strong and move on was wad i'm supposed to do.

found out something which i was shock'd to hear at first but
i accept'd daa fact soon aft. chat'd till ard 2.30 and got to slp ard 3.

was only up frm my beauty slp at noon.
lunch'd and chat'd wid immelia sis for lil while...
she was surprised yet happy for me
so was honey wen i gave her a call and told her bout it...

fwens has nvr fail'd to be dere all this while.
I LOVEEEEE THEM TO BITS&PIECES = )

sundays have always been daa same.
tv marathon as usual, completed my maths homewk
and since i've got nothing else to do. i decided to blog now..

was a bit scared jus now, so lost and afraid.
my parents start'd quarreling again and it nvr fail'd to got me in it.
but i'm glad things are alright now. *i hope
have totally no appetite so i'm gonna skip dinner again.
that's all for now...
CIAOS.

想回到过去
试著抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气

想看你的看的世界,
想在你梦的画面
祇要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

想回到过去试著让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去
分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
想回到过去...

mySWEETaddiction <3
6:55 PM.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

a junior frm my sch got knock'd down by a taxi.
it freaking traumatised steph, adeline and me,
we were waiting for a cab and we witness'd wad had happen'd.
assembled at daa concourse and got ready.. ahkoh ask'd who saw wad happen'd, and we told her. she say'd something that got adeline and
i crying. we were so traumatised that we wan'd to forget everything.

our bus took us to northland sec. not a bad match i must say,
point'd out our most possible mistakes on court and we'll try harder
for our nxt match. joyce and abang came to support us.
thou we lost, we werent unhappy at all. expect'd,
so we took it as a learning game for us to improve = )

daa weather was really horrible. rain&shine, rain&shine..
last 2mins, it start'd to pour so heavily that daa game was paused.
took daa chance to discuss everything...
aft daa game, we had to changed out of our jersey to prevent
ourselves frm getting sick since we were drench'd.

left wid daa whole team and took a bus to northpoint.
joyce and abang accompany'd me home, got myself wash'd up
and head'd to northpoint to meet up wid fel and lulu.
we wen to catch daa movie Memoirs of a Geisha,
daa show is really interesting thou it's kindah draggy...

she believed daa day of happiness would come,
wait'd&wait'd... she wen thru so much till she finally got it.
perseverance was wad i learnt frm that show.
as i believe my happiness will be back one day...
will be watching it again wid adeline, shall see wen she's free.

dinnner'd at daa foodcourt, had my eel rice bowl since i had cravings for it.
YUMMYLICIOUS.
have i eva mention'd how mean joyce is??? haha,
she's really mean...

today.
out wid my cousin again, back to our CNY shopping where we last
stop'd daa other time. walk'd daa whole of town yet couldnt get
wad i wan'd. seriously, today is such an unlucky day.
tops that caught my eyes jus didnt have my size.

got our heels frm newurbanmale. daa guy who served us was really
CUTE&HOT. haha. great service, he was so patient and attentive.
he gave great advices too alright. den head'd over to fareast,
our very last stop since i was getting so frustrated...
walk'd ard and surprisingly saw yanhan kor, jason and kaiwen.
told them we were shopping ard for CNY clothes and they ask'd to
join them, which we did in daa end = )
got a top frm future state, quite happy wid it thou
i wish'd flesh imp's tops did have my size!!!

wait'd for jiewei and we head'd over to lucky plaza for dinner.
skip'd my dinner, jus sat while they ate..
jason start'd his nonsense ONCE AGAIN, making my cousin
laughing till it was way impossible to stop her laughing..

train'd to bugis and accompany'd daa guys to get daa stuffs they wan'd.
daa guys really bought their stuffs,
while my cousin and i couldnt actually get wad we wan'd...

plaza singapura - heeren - fareast - bugis...

was crossing daa road and almost got knock'd down by a car
and daa incident i witness'd ytd suddenly appear'd inside my head.
was scared to shit man. *a wrg move i made..

one thing's for sure.
everything that has been bothering me was all forgotten at daa moment.
all thanks to them, they entertain'd so much that it was jus impossible
to get tied down by anything that was bothering inside..

train'd back home wid them,
they intend'd to head over to causeway but it closed halfway
thru our journey dere. so they took it straight to jurong east.

i've thought it thru and made up my mind.

to zhizhong&yanhan kor:
thanks for everything. all that you guys have told me...
i've thought it thru already.. i'm much happier aft decisions are made
and none could have been done if it wasnt for you two.
love you guys to bits&pieces = )

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:59 PM.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

失去了曾经的拥有
在你离开以后
带走了笑容只留下寂寞
忘了幸福是什么

没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:30 PM.

AS SHE SMILES WID A BROKEN HEART.

bekah told me something in daa morning and i had daa shock of my life.
reluctant but still told jiemei in daa end...

got to sch and all of us start'd rushing our chem and maths homewk,
was so dead tired aft training ytd and i decided not to do any.

chem was surprisingly fun today, ms Lim P.L made every single one
of us recite our chem thingy, managed to fake thru and i didnt wen thru it.
it took us daa whole 2periods of chem.. so we had so much fun&laughter.
lunch'd at 848 wid 7sisters... owell, we had so much fun as it's
been so long since we last really gather'd together.

had geog extra lesson at 2 but we only arrive'd at 2.30,
we head'd to daa toilet and made up a REASON on why we're late...
wen mrs tan ask'd, we told her seven of us had grp tuition and
she actually believed us. haha.
couldnt really concentrate as i was feeling uber slpy..
was msging wid terence thru out daa whole lesson,
felt so bad i couldnt go to NYP's open hse. i wan'd to but
no one was gonna accompany me and i was having lessons..
sorry dude.

lesson was supposed to end at 2.45 but she only let us off at 3.15,
wen to daa canteen and got my peanut thingy...

train'd back home wid honey and homeSWEEThome...

i'm actually feeling very nervous now, it'll be our first match tmr
and i'm actually starting to feel daa shivers...
it'll be so great to actually have him supporting me right now,
wad i really need most. daa support, daa love and all...
but i shant dissapoint my teamates. lyk was ahkoh told us,
we've got to focus during daa game and let nothing affect us...
i'm trying and praying very hard i could do that.

i jus got my lovely bath and i'm feeling so comfortable now.
shall start on my maths homewk later..

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart you know that I'm with you all along..

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:05 PM.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

finally back home aft a busy day....
training in daa aftnoon was SHITY,
i was practically training daa new recruits and daa B'gurls
were coaching them daa basics as well while mdm faridah happily
sat at daa concourse chatting wid other pupils.

wad got me damn piss'd is that she was actually INCHARGE'D of them.
daa B'gurls swallow'd down everything, wasting half of our precious
training time helping her to coach daa juniors.
finally ahkoh came and we got our fair turn to use daa court.
strategys thru out today cause time was running out.

chat'd wid mr foo at daa mrt station and we were trying to
psycho him to let us go to his hse during CNY to have steamboat.
thou he say'd he'll try to make himself free, i hope he really will.
i'm so eager to see at his 2precious kids = )
he'll be bringing their pics for us tmr aft much psycho-ing frm them.

dinner'd at 848 wid adeline, steph, weili and shushan.
cheeken rice for steph and i while daa rest jus accompany'd us dere.

i was so right ytd, i knew mr joseph would do his bitching to ms tan,
too bad ms tan sided me and told me to pretend to listen during his
lesson thou i dun have any idea wad on earth he was teaching...

had so much fun during mr foo's and mr tan's period.
mr foo mistook me for adeline and wen he realise'd who i was,
he told daa whole class that he was so embarrassd that he got mix'd up.

finally completed my just perfect book, shall go look for too perfect.
was reading daa last few pages during MT lesson and i couldnt
held on to my tears.. most stuffs mention'd inside were so realistic.
honey wen to daa toilet wid me while i cry'd till my heart's content,
head'd back to class and act'd as if everything was perfectly fine..
cry'd till i was having headache....

if only i had his shoulder dere for me, lyk how i once had..

train'd home wid shushan, hazel and dhanya's cousin.

homeSWEEThome.....

to extra person:
i really do find you super extra and wish so much you'll dissapear.
your appearance has made honey and i drift'd somehow,
you may not think so but to me, previous times widout you...
i was so much happier wid her. shall be having recess wid 7sisters
frm tmr onwards and i hope you dun follow us at all...
we, 7sisters, were always together during recess but aft you appear'd
we had to compromise and not join them..
to me, i think that they're so much more impt to me as compare'd to you.
pls do noe your own limits before i walk right up to you and scream my lungs out..
THANK YOU!!!

shall go have my nice shower now..
YAYNESSSSSSS.....

i'm waiting for you to piece back daa broken pieces,
mend daa wound inside daa lil heart
and ease daa pain&hurt i'm feeling..

you're daa one who's keeping me going everyday,
awake widout you but my heart still miss's you.
you're my pillar of strength wen i'm in my darkest hours..
you're all i wan, all i eva need in life..

baby only you can complete me.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:45 PM.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

got up and my ankle was hurting...
had prob walking to daa bathroom but owell...

wen online and view'd his blog and something struck me.
daa msg shihui sent... it kept circling ard my head.
as usual i met up wid my dear gurl and train'd to sch.

early morning, i got shout'd by mr joseph. haha.
who cares bout him!!!
got bloody piss'd off and shout'd back at him,
leaving him so angry that he threw his mouse on daa laptop.
lyk wad on earth do you wan me to do wen i freaking
dun understand right frm wen he start'd teaching me,
which was lyk wen??? LAST YEAR!!!
i couldnt be bother'd and continue'd doing my own stuffs.

wen to daa dentist during maths period,
daa nurse ask'd whether i've thought of putting braces...
told her nopes cause it hurts. since it was recess time,
they've expect'd me to leave and head back later but i end'd up
telling them it's alright cause i was skipping it
and guess wad they say'd. they say'd i was daa only one who
was willing to skip'd recess for daa dental thingy. = )
got back to class and found out that homewk was given for daa day.

was listening to daa songs in my phone and i suddenly
start'd tearing. kept mum bout it, got honey shock'd wen she saw.
*sorry my dear... didnt wana let you worry for me any further.
but was back to normal in no time, having james sitting behind
me wasnt suchah bad idea at all.. at least i've got ppl to entertain me.

suppose'd to stay back for geog extra lesson but
mdm lu made us finish'd up our compo before we could left.
so by daa time we finish'd everything up, daa extra lesson was over.

hurry'd back and wash'd up. met honey at OCBC and head'd
over to BK for some more mugging. dere was this... that got
us both so HIGH that she did something so embarressing.
chat'd so much aft we finish'd and we agree'd to go somewhere
one day wen we're both free, our secret place = )

but he noes where is it thou, wen dere wid him twice.
wonderful memories i have dere, which definitely wun be forgotten.

was actually feeling ALL-SO-DEPRESS'D and i made honey
accompany'd me to TimeZone. play'd my fav game...
thou my hand was aching so much but i still continue'd..

training tmr and i hope everyone will be back to our normal selfs...
this fri will be against CHIJ st.nic thou it's quite a bad news
but we've been training so hard all these while for this...
WE CAN DO IT = )

pics will be upload'd wen i have time to upload frm my cam.

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything...

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:52 AM.

Monday, January 16, 2006

it shall be a very random post today.
anything and everything that had pop'd into my head will be down.
*

fwens ard me seems to be having daa same prob as me right now.
either separated wid their steads or broken up.
i dunno wads wrg but it seems lyk guys jus dun understand at all.

dun tell to tell us, gurls, to move on or to love someone else.
it's so damn obvious that you guys were daa one we love
that was why we wen into a r/s. going thru all odds jus to be wid you.
cant for once that you guys put down your pride and jus
solve things out properly wid us. isit really that difficult!!!
separate for daa time being, how long will that be???

jus lyk wad shihui told me, they'll nvr keep to their words.
yes, we'll be waiting but cant you guys see that going thru
jus ONE DAY will be lyk a torture to us.

to jiemei:
my dear gurl. i noe how it feels. hurt yet so confused at daa same time.
rmb wad i told you in daa toilet this morning...
we'll be strong and wait till they're back into our lifes kays.
regardless whether that will eva happen anot. i'll always be dere = )

shihui's msgs got me thinking real hard today,
thus explaining my moodless attitude during training.
i'm not sure whether wad i'm doing now is right or wrg,
definitely unhealthy as i've been skipping meals here&dere.

as days pass by i'm wondering whether he'll really be back.
thou many told me that moving on could nvr be daa worst choice.
i jus feel lyk i'm hanging on a cliff, any moment i'll jus drop.

training was jus HORRIBLE today.
my mood was really bad, 100% wasnt put in at all.
well, since i wasnt concentrating much i got my ankle hurt again.
it seems slightly swell'd up and walking is a...

for daa first time, i felt that he has took over me.
i couldnt really concentrate during training,
too much thoughts, too many qns inside my head.

our first match will be starting this fri.
GREAT!!!
now i've got to cancel our pooling session wid james.
owells, nvm shall go aft CNY = )

baby only you have daa ans to my heart,
daa broken pieces waiting for you to heal it back.

I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed to hear you say I love you

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:28 PM.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

drank wid my parents last night.
limit'd myself to only a glass as he nvr lyks me drinking = (

fall aslp so early and i drift'd into dreamland.

a nightmare & a candy sweet dream.

daa nightmare was bad...

till my candy sweet dream came.
i felt so happy,
i was laughing all over daa place.
it was great having able to have him right beside me and hugging me.
so long eva since i last smiled so happily.
thinking all was back to normal.

only to realised all was a DREAM wen i got up.
tears brimming on my eyes and i start'd to cry to myself.
i felt so lost instantly.
why did this dream came yet only to leave me
sobbing all to myself once i'm up frm it.

*

wen online and saw a fwenster msg frm shihui.
MY NEW FOUND FWEN = )
i couldnt stop help but cry'd again while reading wad she sent.
she knew wad i was going thru,
somehow or another she wen thru almost daa same.

she told me bout her and erhem...
ask'd me to be strong,
to cry out all i wan and move on aft..

NO, i cant do that.
i wun do that either.
i dun deny it hurts so badly that i wish rainny days would wash'd it away.
but my baby is daa only one who's keeping me going now.

since i was out whole day ytd,
i'll be home daa whole day as well.
i'll be a VERY GOOD GURL today.

shall start on my homewk later and
mayb some reading if i feel lyk it...

Maybe i'm a fool to feel the way I do
But i would play the fool forever
Just to be with you forever
I believe in miracles
Love's a miracle
And yes, baby
You're a dream come true

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:30 AM.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

a change in my blogskin,
all thanks to dalilprincess who customise'd it for me.

I JUS LOVE THAT GURL SO MUCH.

*
CCA orientation was a BLAST...
was suppose'd to met adeline and steph at 8.45
but wen i arrive'd, they were still at home.

head'd over to sch first.
all was shock'd to see me in netball shirt&shorts
and didnt knew my jersey was inside my bag. haha.
change'd up, was disturb'd by muhsin outside daa toilet.
he kept goin SEXY AH... SHORTS SO SHORT..

glad to say that today was a success.
been really impress'd by daa juniors,
they really brought lots of ppl to our table...
*GREAT JOB PPL*

aft today i guess daa team is more unite'd now.
thou dere's always a wall between us and daa C'gurls..
NorthZone will be offically starting nxt week,
thou rushing to train up more..
i believe we'll work even harder den last year...

some random pics taken today.

- B'gurls

- C'gurls

joyce and her bro came and wait'd for me.
lunch'd at northpoint and we train'd down to bishan
cause joyce wan'd to search for some sound track..
treat'd myself wid strawberry cheesecake ice-cream.
YUMMY = )
*she's a happy lil gurl

saw fioan and xiao bai dere too,
and we start'd window shopping ard together...
finally settle'd ourselves down at MOS for some rest.

joyce and her bro left first leaving fioan, xiao bai and me.
we chat'd alot and they ask'd wad actually happen'd,
told them and fioan ask'd whether it was worth waiting..
i told her that i would rather wait as i really
do not wish to have any regrets aft...
fioan told me dere are better guys out dere...
but to me,
can they love me and make me feel daa same way he could...
they nvr can!!!

my heart is stuck wid him.
no matter wad happens,
he'll always be my baby boy...

left ard 5plus and we train'd back together...

I remembered so well
The day that you came into my life
You had the most beautiful smile

My life has started to change
When i wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine

I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:00 PM.

Friday, January 13, 2006

ytd.
it keeps raining non-stop
and it's been days since daa SUNSHINE came out.

lessons wen on as usual,
teachers seem to be going NUTS this few days too.
once they're in daa class, they'll start scolding.
WTH...
social studies lesson was really fun.
since sec1, mr loh's lessons were all about copying
notes and understanding later.
nothing change'd all these years thou and
daa white board was fill'd wid lots of words...

chem was hilarious i tell you.
dada kor & co were aim'd by Lim P.L again.
they were nvr eva spare'd by her, goodness.
all did nothing but she still had reasons to screw them.
james got it worse as compare'd to them,
he'll be OUT OF BOUNCE during lab lessons.
was suppose'd to stay back for another extra period,
which actually means that we can leave at 1.40
but Lim P.L decides to take up even more of our time.
wen she finally decide'd to let us off, it was already 3.

hurry'd home and met honey at 4.
we wen to BK to mug...

*SUCH GOOD GURLS WE ARE*
ate, chat'd and did our work...
we chat'd bout him and was on daa verge to cry.
i dunno wad i'm actually feeling right now.
confuse, hurt, broken up, numbness...

left at ard 6, head'd to northpoint to get stuffs.
got ourselves a pair of studs each...

she left ard 7plus,
and i wen to find my sis at kimage.
stone'd while waiting for her,
got my old chung kee den homeSWEEThome.

today.
FRIDAY DAA 13TH.
wen unfortunate events befall...

was chatting to honey on our way to sch,
told her how i was actually feeling inside.
she told me to take a step at a time,
see how things goes first...

i read his blog. he seems really happy right now.
i couldnt help'd but to think back,
to think wad i've done to him daa whole 9mths.
browse'd thru fwenster and saw wad hurt'd daa most.
mayb i'm thinking too much,
mayb everything i'm seeing is reality.
i dunno. i hope someone out dere will tell me.
mayb or mayb not,
he seems attach'd to her....
*IF ONLY I KNEW WADS GOING ON...

i was totally MOODLESS in class today.
was in my supposingly slping position
during chinese lesson till work was to be complete'd.

dada kor & co almost made mrs tan explode'd.
guys are guys, they're foreva as playful...

lunch'd at khatib mac wid honey and diana.
was dere eating and fooling ard.
since i didnt had much appetite,
had hot fudge sundae, lemon-lime dink and applepie.
for a moment i thought everything was alright.
till i left to meet adeline at daa bubble tea shop,
i was shot back into reality...

stroll'd back to sch for training and
daa weather was a killer.
daa sun was so scorching HOTHOTHOT.

had a fwenly game wid daa bballers.
lots made us not please'd but they're bballers aftall.
we couldnt ask'd to be more strict for daa rules.
happy faces shown aft daa game,
WE WON THEM!!! 11-3 = )

i'm having sunburn right now,
my face and shoulders are hurting...

play'd a game against our juniors
and not forgetting ourselves...
was hurt. was elbow'd and my back hurts.
collect'd our jersey frm ahkoh.

PISS'D PISS'D PISS'D OFF...
daa shorts turn'd out to be really short tights.
we were so uncomfortable cause it was tigh-fitting
but ahkoh didnt care and we're suppose'd to wear tmr!!!

skipping dinner again.
reason being....

Baby xiang dui ni shuo sheng dui bu qi
Yong cuo le fang shi qu ai ni
Ying wei wo tai zai yi
Ru guo mei you ni wo de shi jie zhi sheng hui yi
Mei tian zhi mian dui gu ji
Yi lai bu ji zai shuo wo ai ni

Goodbye was daa saddest word i've heard
Goodbye was daa last time i held you near
That day you say'd that word and i cry'd
It broke my heart to hear wen you say'd goodbye..

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:00 PM.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

i'm lyk super-duper PISS'D OFF right now.
i was happily typing my super long entry wen
my com decide'd to wen nuts and close'd daa window.

ytd.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BOY.

farewell lunch'd for papa bofore he leaves for PA.
was suppose'd to have soul garden but
they decide'd to change to Fish&Co last min.
was quite fraustrate'd actually but wad to do..

they were us usual, LATE again.
so honey and i decide'd to head over to plaza sing for
some window shopping since i've yet to get my CNY clothes..
was at future state and a top caught my eyes.

met them at plaza sing and we head'd over to Fish&Co.
wasnt having a very good appetite so i only
complete'd 1/4 of my meal...
had bake'd salmon meal. i love daa calm chowder.
YUMMYLICIOUS = )

since we were stuck on where we shld head nxt,
we walk'd our way to heeren and start'd stoning.
lost for places to go since singapore is so tiny.
all decide'd to head home ard 5 and since i was
on daa line wid immelia sis, i decide'd to head
down to kovan to find her.
daa directions she gave were so exact that it
was jus way too impossible to lose your way..

chat'd and had a sudden urge to have a haircut.
i was hesitating thru out so she dare'd me
but i got my haircut in daa end.
*HAPPY GURL*
walk'd thru a dark lane over to heartland mall.

we had ThaiExpress for dinner since daa
lilprincess was having cravings for it.

-mine

-ours

-her's

got her mini melts aft that and head'd back to her place.
took some pics before i left.

bus'd back home by myself..
wad a great achievement = )
daa journey was long enuff and it got
me thinking bout so much stuffs...
everything that was in my head jus had something
to do wid him. he had nvr left my mind, that explains..
was on daa verge on breaking down but i held on
to my tears. i'll be strong, i'm trying to be...

only got back home at 10.30,
hurry'd wash-up and got to bed...

today.
sch was as usual so i doubt dere's
anything to update about.

Lim P.L took up 1period rearranging us in
daa chem lab and she wans us to stay back tmr
for a make-up lesson she had waste'd time on...

lunch'd at 848 wid adeline and we chat'd.
she's been thru it all and she understands...

back to sch for training.
did our strategys and heaven decide'd
to let rain pour on us.
since we'll be having such HORRIBLE weather
during NorthZone, we continue'd training
in daa rain till it got way too heavy.
wen to daa hall and did physical training
but got back on to daa court wen daa rain was smaller.
once again we were soak'd in daa rain...

my rib, wrist and ankle seems to be hurting
and i've got no idea. o man, pls dun let anything happen.
NorthZone means a whole lot to US.
i wouldnt wana dissapoint my whole team...

I just wanna stay here soaking up the rain
Falling all around me, wash the world away

Let me feel you next to me
Let me taste the breath you breathe
Open up the space between us

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:50 PM.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

good morning ppl = )

i was thinking deep inside my slp
wen i suddenly jus woke up.

i've been thinking real hard about
everything that has been happening lately.
yet time&time again, my heart would ache
wen 25.12.05 appear'd in my mind.
days havent been really going on well...

trying my best to drown myself into
doing lots of stuffs so i'll be real busy to
even recall wad happen'd that very day.
sadly, everything i'm doing seems to be
goin down daa drain as i'll still recall it.

everywhere i go i'll recall us dere together...
esplanade, marina square, town, bugis etc...
everywhere seem'd to have our footsteps.

all this while 2persons has been always dere
and i'm really grateful that god had sent them to me.

to immelia jie:
thanks for always telling me daa right thing
i shld do, instead of me always filling my head
up wid suicidal thoughts. all this while you
have been always right dere for me,
comforting me thou we rarely meet up...
you'll still try your best to cheer me up even if
you're not even in your bestest mood...

i dun noe how i shld thank you but
deep inside my heart i'm so grateful i have you.

to honey:
thanks for giving me daa time to listen
to wad i've to cry out wen i'm so down.
no matter wad i've been thru, you nvr fail'd
to be dere for me. we've been thru so much
and i'm glad our fwenship had blossom'd...

thou your r/s may not be in daa bestest best
situition right now but fear not alright.
i'll be dere for you jus lyk how you've been dere...
advices i'll provide to make everything turn
out better. thou i cant do much but jus comfort you,
provide a BIG BEAR HUG and wipe those tears
away... i'm glad God had sent me an angel = )

thou my life isnt in it's best picture right now,
i believe dere's a purpose to wad God has install'd.
God is daa one who create'd great things inside our lifes.
thou it's been a rough ride for me so far,
i believe that's wad God wan me to overcome so
i'll be stronger. but it doesnt mean i'll give up
that precious one who left wid a sad goodbye..
cause i BELIEVE my happiness will be back.

it's raining again...
hope it'll stop later cause will be meeting
up wid papa and gang for a farewell lunch.
honey and i organised it but edwin help'd
to gather everyone...
*thanks dude = )

ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasnt been the same ohh baby, nooo
when I looked into your eyes
the moment that I let you go
I just broke down

baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again
I would sacrifice cuz the feeling that I feel within
no other men could ever make me feel so right
its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
but I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:10 AM.

Monday, January 09, 2006

daa start of my day was brighten up by him = )
i was so happy seeing 2msg's frm
him wen i got up this morning...

glad that he had finally accept'd daa prezzie.

well..
sch was as usually BORED today.
had very lil lessons but...
had a fun time during PE thou,
miss mr subash(hope i spell'd correctly) so much.

aft sch...
TUITION, TUITION, TUITION..

edwin came to find honey and i ard 6.
while waiting for him....
we were both rotting away.
was reading my just perfect, i'm so falling
even more in love wid romantic novels now.

while reading,
i couldnt stop thinking about him...
everything mention'd inside daa novel felt
so real and so true.
i wish'd it'll jus happen to me once a while.
daa songs that i was listening to struck
me real hard esp, daa lyrics...

chat'd so much wen he arrive'd,
main purpose he came down was actually
to talk honey out...

love is meant to be lyk this.
sweet in daa beginning and sour at daa end.

jus got back not long
and my gastrics are hurting.
so i'm gonna skip'd dinner.
totally no appetite aft reading...

my mind is made up clear,
clear enuff that i'll totally not regret in my decision.

to baby:
it's obvious why i've not move'd on,
cause my heart still miss's you badly.
i hope that very day of happiness will be back again.
i've learnt to LOVE yet compromise wid you
but i guess i've learnt it too late to
avoid you frm making that hurtful decision.

but i guess other den actions,
none other can prove it better to you...
well, lyk wad i say'd...
i'll be waiting for you to turn back everything.
i dun wana love him cause
none can take over that special place you have inside..
-I LOVE YOU.

to YOU:
i guess everything has been made clear
inside your blog.
if i had known wad you thought of me
at daa very first place...
mayb i wouldnt even have let this fwenship start'd.

i guess i was too naive to believe everything...
but to YOU i wana make clear.
i dun care wad you blog,
but you better not get him involve'd in it.
it's my r/s and none can comment anything
except daa both of us, who was inside that r/s.

you have not done anything to make things better
and sadly, aft reading wad's inside your blog.
i guess we are better off seperate ways frm now on.
all daa best in everything you do.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:20 PM.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i'm having mess'd up feelings right now
and i dunno wad i shld do.

once again i'm stuck into considering ppl's
feelings wen mine isnt consider'd in any way.

reading 2 blog entries frm 2 diff ppl has
given me so much.... ARGH...

i thought clearing things up would be better.
but why does every single thing i do seem
to be going on daa wrg track.
lyk seriously, daa one i'm caring for isnt bothering
while daa one who cares is getting hurt.

why am i always put into such....!!!

conclusion to everything.
I'M NVR GOOD ENUFF FOR ANYONE.

no matter wad i do,
ppl will say this&that...
yes, i may hurt some ppl's feelings thru
wad i'm doing right now or mayb not.
but why cant anyone consider my feelings for once.

i'm human too!!!

those few simple words you say'd
change'd my whole life,
broke my heart into million pieces.
left me so far away frm YOU....

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:40 AM.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

out wid my cousin today.
she accompany'd me over to marina square
first to get him his bithday prezzie.

daa journey dere was fun,
we chat'd bout us changing over daa years.
well, ppl change. so this is who we are.

intend'd to get him daa PONY t-shirt
but sadly, dere wasnt his size at all.
so we wait'd for them to check out other outlets
but still dere wasnt any of his sizes.

i was so worry'd that i wasnt able to get it today
but thank god i saw something suitable at FourSkin.
so i got that instead and i was so damn happy.

lunch'd at Lerk Thai restaurent.
daa food was delicious, shall go back again.

-before

-after

cab'd over to lucky plaza to find yan korkor.
he was playing pool so we decide'd to open
a table for oursleves too.

-korkor & jason

-jason & i

-korkor & i

my dressing today isnt really appropriate,
so i was very careful while trying to hit daa balls.

play'd half-way wen he suddenly came...
left aft a few more rounds and we head'd to fareast.
was msging immelia and she was comforting me..
*thanks so much sis.

walk'd rounds&rounds wid them,
he left half-way......
so 5 of us were left walking still.
korkor, kw, jason, wt and i...

jason wen about wid all his nonsense.
he came out wid super lame jokes that
got my cousin laughing non-stop.
it was pwettie hilarious..

saw a few familiar faces..
head'd over to cine to get my top and a bracelet.
and we decide'd to head home.

shall be back to do some real CNY shopping.
mayb a skirt, heels and another top.
hmmm.. shall see = )

-korkor, kw & jason

to spencer:
i guess i've to make things clear rather
den letting it drag till who noes wen.
regardless wad papa told me or
wad my ans to you will be...
i think you're very much clear that i still love
him very much and am waiting...

thank you for being dere for me this whole
time and comforting me wen i cry...
trying your very best to cheer me up so i'll
stop pondering all those bad memories..
i'm really glad that i have you as my fwen.
a fwen i noe that who'll be dere for me no
matter wad happens, good or bad.
but my feelings for you could only go this far.
i'm sorry.

i'm in no condition to step into another r/s.
i dun wana get hurt any further and wads
most impt is i dun wana lie bout my
feelings cause you're a really nice guy
and i'm sure dere'll be someone out dere
who'll be better and more suitable for you.

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:50 PM.