More Than Words

Thursday, September 29, 2005

RARR.
I`M SO STRESS`D UP!!!
-i seriously hope i wasnt born`d into this world at all

jus got home from a long dae at sch.
facin all daa notes and books for 6hrs, is jus makin me go nuts.
if you guys haven been noticin, this yr`s EOY has been drivin me crazy.
i seriously dun wana retain, i mean everythin has been stressin me up.

i wana head up to poly, i wana see my future ahead.
i`m tryin my very best to work hard for this yr but nothin seems to be
improvin for me i guess.
been reali lost in poa as i reali cun understand wad on earth mr joesph
have been teachin. i love mr rahman, he jus noe how to catch our
attention thou he`s reali FIERCE. but i reali dun mind,
at least i did well wen he was our poa teacher.
now that mr joseph have taken up his place, my poa grades havent
been in place. i`m worry`d, i use`d to be so strong in that sub.

HAIZ, HAIZ, HAIZ...
WAD IS WRG???
NOTHIN WILL GO RIGHT FOR ME,
NOTHIN SEEMS TO BE GOIN ON DAA RIGHT TRACK FOR ME.

stay`d back for poa remedial but daa usuals, i still didnt understand.
it`s jus stressin me up so much, my parents are havin high hopes.
but so far... i havent been lettin them smile for my grades...

anyway, i`m gonna be muggin wid suling at BK later.
*all daa best for my physics, my onli hope left
ZE kor will be comin down in daa evenin to help me out.

>> DATES FOR MUGGIN SESSIONS
will be muggin from todae till daa exams are over.
yes, EVERY SINGLE DAE.

01/10/05 & 02/10/05_ jo
03/10/05_ baby
04/10/05 - 07/10/05_ honey & andy
08/10/05_ tuition
10/10/05_ honey & andy

ARGH...
see how pack`d my life will be durin exam periods.

imissYOU.

your huggs&kiss`s...
i hope time would onli pause wen we`re together
jus US_YOU&ME.

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:15 PM.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

RARR.
PISS`D, PISS`D, PISS`D...

BACK OFF HERE.
OR SHE`LL BITE!!!

i so tink i`m not gonna be able to complete my 20reviews.
it`s freakin stressful, esp. you not helpin wen you sae`d you will.
you onli noe how to SLP, SLP, SLP...
pigg, pigg, pigg ah... haha = [[

suddenly very sadd.
daa thought of EOY is nxt week is jus addin me so much pressure.
how much more can i hold on,. how long more???
i wish dere aint so much pressure wen it comes to studyin.

RARR.
RARR.
RARR.

SHE`S FUMIN LYK SHIT.
SHE`S BURNIN SO HOT INSIDE.

GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mySWEETaddiction <3
6:21 PM.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

sch was as usual.
except that daa book review deadline is 30/09/05 which
is this fri. o man o man... i`ve so havent complete it yet.

daa usual 20reviews that`s need`d.
i`ve done 3 onli. i`m so dead can. but i`m gonna chiong tmr
cuz this time things are diff. it`s 20marks include`d in my EOY.
which i dun tink i did well at all. so any marks that will help me
shall be a HELLO FWEN thingy...

train`d back home wid diana, shipei and honey, daa usuals except
that cherine was wid us. diana wasnt happy either, i mean who would.
since we dun lyk her totally. and she`s freakin thick-skin, no one ask`d
her to join us back so yuh.... SHOOOOOO!!!

CHERINE THONG
YOU BETTER WATCH WADS COMIN OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
WHO`S DAA ONE WID ATTITUDE PROB???
LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
ANYWAY, YOU DUNNO ME AT ALL AND SINCE YOU DUN LYK
ME AT ALL. WHYY EVEN BOTHER SAEIN YOU DUN LYK ME.
DUN LYK ME??? DEN SHOOOOO OFF DEN, DO YOU TINK I
EVEN GIVE A DAMN BOUT YOU??? DUN TINK SO HIGHLY
OF YOURSELF. I`VE NOT FORGOTTEN WAD HAPPEN`D AND
IT`S STILL FREAKIN FRESH INSIDE MY MIND SO YOU BETTER
NOT TRY YOUR LUCK GURL. IF ANYTHIN ELSE COMES OUT,
I CUN PROMISE WAD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.
SO IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE BEFORE YOU GRAD
YOU BETTER NOT LET ME HEAR ANYTHIN.

wEEEEEeeeeeeee....
i`m so done wid my ventin.
baby`s jus enjoyin himself now, playin pool wid his fwens.
while i`ll be muggin lyk shit later. haha.

gonna go sem to mugg wid joyce and mayb abang will join us.
i`ve gotta try to get my physics notes into my head
*all daa best to me = ))

i cun wait for tmr, will be meetin him.
but gotta rush my reviews so less fun and hello hell to me.

you`ve cast`d a spell
and it made me fell so deeply in love wid you.
that nice feelin of havin you
it`s good to feel lyk i`m in a magical land full of you.

iloveYOU, my baby.

mySWEETaddiction <3
2:45 PM.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

my second entry for daa dae, since i`ve got nothin to do.
i`ve been good. yes, a real good gurl todae.
mum suddenly got nice and agree`d wen i sae`d i wan`d a mp3.

so was browsin thru daa net and was confuse on whether i wan
zen neon or ipod nano. so aft readin ipod nano`s profile, i decide`d
that i so wana get it. mum fully support`d ipod nano too, but daa price...
saw daa US price, convert to sing it`ll be 400+bucks. *prays prays

it`s superb slim and weighs superb light too.
great for me esp. since i dislyk carryin a bag out. it`ll be so
convinient on daa run wid me whereva i go. haha = ]]

was readin thru bloggs and sumthin hit`d me suddenly.

i feel so attach`d to you and i could see my future wid you in it.
was jus tinkin wad my life would be lyk aft 10yrs down daa road.
i`ll be 25 by den, hopefully marry`d as plan`d.
i hope to have a ring on my marry`d finger and start a family wid you.
havin your kids, bringin them up right to face daa world..
watchin them grow dae by dae, all those effort put in it as they grow from
young cute infants - kids - teenager - adults.
and finally start a family of their own and i`ll be a grandma....

i may tink too far now, but it`s nvr too late to plan my future.
i`m not sure wads install`d for me in my future daes ahead
but i`m very sure of one thing...
no matter wads install`d i wan you to be in that wonderful plan too..

My love for you has always been
My love for you will always be
My love for you will nvr endd
My love for you will hold me thru

Jus so you`ll always noe
I love you wid all my heart&soul.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:05 PM.

yesterday
tuition was change`d so head`d out to study wid grape at mos.
jo was suppose`d to study wid us too but she came ard 4 and
left for cong`s hse soon aft. leavin me and grape dere.
anywae we study`d and hadd our fun&laughter till 5plus. grape was late
and hadd to rush off to her grand`s place.

baby was nice. he came to find me thou i could see that he was rottin most
of daa time dere. he left to get daa car at 4, and was back in an hrs time.
longpang`d grape to her grand`s place, but aft circlin for an hr, we decide`d
to drop her off and she cab`d dere instead.
our fun&laughter carry`d on thru out daa whole journey. damn fun thou we
were actually kindah lost cuz grape couldnt figure out where exactly was her
grand`s place. so baby and i were NUTS inside daa car.

daa whole journey was good kays.
it`s a great feelin to actually jus be beside him.
it doesnt matter where we wen actually as long as i`m wid him.

drove to thomson`s drive thru mac and bought our dinner as
chomp chomp(dunno how to spell) was freakin crowd`d.

today
hadd tuition early in daa mornin at 8. was damn reluctant to
get up but i havent hadd tuition for 2weeks already and EOY is nxt week.
tuition was fun, chat`d bout loads of stuffs.
as usual fun time durin tuition, i dun feel it`s tuition cuz i`m jus havin fun.
wun be headin out later i guess, shall jus stay home and rest.

miss those memories suddenly,
those times we use`d to hadd. those fun times spent together...

baby`s still slpin i guess. that pigg.
blogg break`d in ytd into my acc. anywae he`s still as sweet as eva!!!

I MISS HIM
I MISS HIM
I MISS HIM....

i need you now&foreva
dun eva leave me standin alonee in this cold world.
love is true and wonderful,
it`s jus so real wen i`m wid you

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:25 PM.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

BLOGGIE BREAK IN!!!!!

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

love ya love ya muack muack muack

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:35 AM.

Friday, September 23, 2005

HAPPY 6TH MTH ANNI!!!! = ))
IT`S DEREK&WEILIN, HAND IN HAND DOWN DAA LANE

was freakin excite`d in sch, practically jus wishin daa time would hurry pass`d by. saw unwan`d faces as usual but anywae.... WHO CARES!!!!

time aft recess pass`d real fast, hadd book promos and it was quite fun. sittin dere and listenin, but some made me felt slpy thou. haha, mayb cuz i wasnt payin attention i guess.
i`ve got short spend of attention towards certain stuffs.
train`d down to yishun wid diana, honey and shipei. hadd our laughters inside daa train. as usual, baby was late so our time was slowly passin = ]]
sumhow i still manage`d to reach earlier despite my very own sweet time. so i wait`d and we head`d back home.

took my time to get ready before leavin hse at ard 4. train`d down to cityhall and wen to esplanade. our long-time fav. havent been dere for suchah very long time already, those time spent dere wid him. wen to marina square for cafe cartel.
pics taken dere >>

-baby took it while i was replyin my msg

-baby took it while i was so fascinat`d wid daa butter on daa table

daa portion givin at cartel is superb bigg can. i was lyk so dyin to finish up my meal but i jus couldnt. so as usual baby did daa clearin ups for me = ]]
see whyy i love him so much??? *muacks muacks

baby got me a prezzie, a long-time wan`d wallet from daa wallet shop but havent been able to save up my money. was actually happy but didnt wan him to waste money on me thou...
so i`m HAPPY, yes all thanks to my baby. credits are all to HIM = ]]
pics of daa wallet >>

so we wen esplanade - marina square - suntec - esplanade.
i love`d daa last stop, ESPLANADE!!!!
sat dere in daa dark and kept smilin to myself.

i was happy i hadd his company,
i was happy we`re still together and
i was happy i hadd all daa HAPPINESS i long`d wan`d.

nothin was better den havin YOU nxt to me
havin your company and laughter all ard.
if onli time could stop`d that very moment,
i wan it capture`d deep inside my heart.

iloveYOU, you were daa one who complete`d my life.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:18 PM.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

PISS`D PISS`D PISS`D
PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS`DDDDD!!!!

i`m madd, madd, madd.
i jus got bomb`d by grape. we`re suppose`d to mugg todae and she saes she has handchimes. but cca has been SUSPEND`D till daa exams are over.

so thank YOU very much.
i`m home now, wad am i doin???
will be rottin, slackin ard, go online or jus watch tv. yes, i cun study at home. i`m surround`d by TOOOOOOO MANY temptin things. mayb wen i get too bored which i probably wun den i`ll get my ass stick`d to daa chair and start muggin.

was chattin wid calvin...
To me u are consider a very good friend liao will always be there for u says:
not meetin your bf???
<<_youcompleteme>
nopes. he`s busy slpin. haha.
To me u are consider a very good friend liao will always be there for u says:
you very understanding hor.
<<_youcompleteme>
no choice.
To me u are consider a very good friend liao will always be there for u says:
if my gf wants to see me, i sure everyday wait for her outside sch one. take her for lunch or something.
To me u are consider a very good friend liao will always be there for u says:
if your bf come find you, you sure very happy right??
<<_youcompleteme>
of cuz lah. but he`s havin his holis now thou but i still see him twice a week
To me u are consider a very good friend liao will always be there for u says:
wa kao

*laughs till i ROLL ard daa floor
his reaction is freakin hilarious online = ]]

i`m suddenly hungry but i`m not suppose`d to eat b l a h b l a h b l a h...... cuz i jus recover`d, but i tink i`m gonna go cook curry chicken maggie mee soon... *slurps slurps

she stands strong for she knew she made daa right choice.
and daa right choice is YOU.

iloveYOU.

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:11 PM.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

GREAT DAE AT SCH!!! = ]]

it`s a real great feelin to be back in sch aft not goin for 2daes.
sch was freakin hilarious... daa guys were PORN-in at daa back, while honey and i were laughin our ass`s off. they can nvr seem to stop makin fun of dada of his "BIGG" head. lols = X

hadd a few free-periods cuz teacher didnt come. so yuh, ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY for us.
we`re all laughin and chattin behind. it`s reali great to be laughin daa dae back in sch.. it`s lyk a welcum gift or sumthin.. but anyway lessons were as per normal nothin special either.

wen to mos wid grape, jo`n and thoen. we`re laughin and crappin so much.
sit`d outside mos for so long intendin to wait for a place but all were studyin so we shift`d kfc instead. continue`d crappin, till 4plus and we startin gettin serious and start`d MUGGIN.
EOY is NEAR, NEAR, NEAR!!!!
thoen left early and grape left ard 6 leavin jo`n and i. we shift`d to mos and continue`d studyin.. chat`d for a while in between and aft muggin... head`d home at ard 8 = ]]

dere you were standin right infront of me
you lean`d close and whisper into my ears softly and told me
youLOVEme.

i whisper`d back iloveYOU too.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:17 PM.

Monday, September 19, 2005

haven been blogin for a few daes due to daa high fever i was havin...
THOSE TORTURES DAES, MADE MY LIFE SLOW`D DOWN!!!

hadd a fall 1week before daa sch holis reopen, tinkin it was onli small matter. decide`d to leave it alonee. onli to noe aft one week that my waist hurt`d so much that i`ve got prob walkin... wen to see a chi sinseh, of cuz daa first and last time seein one. freakin hell, daa wae she rub`d was as good as breakin my bones piece by piece out from my body can..

nxt few daes fever jus kept risin and risin non-stop till it even hit`d 40 over degrees. was feverish, vomittin everythin that i ate, nearly collaspe, was shiverin in my slp, body achin, dizzy spells and blurry vision. got my parents and me our scare our daa century, wen to my private doc in daa mornin and wen back at night again cuz daa fever kept risin. so he refer`d me to TTSH hospital Emergency Department (ED). hadd my bloodtest, urine test and x-ray done. wait`d till 12plus before gettin my all daa results, daa doc sae`d everythin came out negative which means i`m suppose`d to be alright. so i was allow`d to go home, but i was shiverin in daa cab daa whole journey...

mayb i use`d to tink my parents may not bother whether i die anot, but aft this whole incident, i finally saw daa love,care&concern i was all along askin. thou they couldnt do much to take awae daa pain and discomfort i was feelin but on daa other, they will call up every hour to check whether i was alright and stuffs...

fwens have been great, esp honey.
i couldnt find anyone better, she noes i`m worry`d for my studies and told me to rest ensure`d that she`ll help me once i`m recover`d... she even wen thru daa trouble helpin me wid notes and stuffs... *DUN YOU JUS LOVE THIS GURL SO MUCH = ]]

and last but not least, my baby was great. thou he wasnt physically dere for me daa whole time. he came down on sat to acc for lil while, i guess i`m jus happy enuff wid that..
i scare`d him too.. *sorry baby = [[

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:01 PM.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

an AWFUL dae to start wid.

as usual daa mornin act cuteness drives me almost NUTS. den daa phone callins frm whoeva it was, den daa whackings.. and i`ve been lyk keepin quiet all this while, cuz i reali cun stand it.

so yupps i totally agree, lyk how she could get over daa break-up incident so fast. mayb he was right, she wasnt daa one for him. daa almost instant change`d that was so freakin obvious to one`s eye. cryin so pityfully daa other time ache`d my heart, but lookin at how things are now. mayb she was jus cryin for that time onli.

my ankle and knee is still hurtin for goodness sake. i`m so sick of walkin down daa stairs so carefully cuz it hurts and in order that i dun worsen it anymore. so first it was jus a fall that injure`d my knee cap. den ankle starts hurtin lyk frm dunno wen. and now, both ankle, my left knee and back hurts. wellsh, thanks so much to daa impact wen i fell. my back has been already rusty frm previous injuries and now this...

HOW "GREAT" CAN IT STILL BE???

wen to sch feelin pwettie fed-up. as i sae`d i tink my menses are comin so i kindah pms non-stop`d daa whole dae.

first, was sebastian`s horrible singin that kill`d me in class den honey`s blurness that got me freakin frustrate`d... i freakin dun mind him singin cuz i`m actually immune`d to it, he has been goin on&on non-stop frm daa start of daa year till now. but it jus gets exceptionally annoyin wen you`re jus havin a HEADACHE that very moment and he jus cun stop irritatin you.. and honey too seems exceptionally blur todae, lols. show`d her a page in daa mag of a digi cam and she wen lyk "is that a MP3 player??? it`s nice man." i was -_________-!!!

wen to BK to mugg wid baby, gq and bekah. but cuz of sumthin that happen`d before that totally jus took my mood awae for studyin todae. so was practically rottin and sittin dere doin nothin till i wen to get daa latest teenage mag.

Daa Dad >>
i`ve hadd enuff of you bringin up daa past. i told you nothin means nothin. i too sae`d infront of your face before that i dun wana freakin rmb wad happen`d anymore. whyy cun you jus let me off, i wen thru
so much to forget that incident. it`s a nightmare that i nvr wana rmb. but yet time&time again you keep bringin it up. cun you jus open your eyes to see that it hadd already left a HUGE
scar inside me. cun you jus go wid your word and stop bringin it up!!! let me go, let me move on widout rmbin it anymore... it jas affect`d me enuff, i`m tired of those daes lyin in bed cryin to myself for no freakin reasons. if you dun trust me den i`ve jus gotta tell you.
IT`S JUS BETTER TO LEAVE ME ALONEE BEFORE THINGS TURN BADD.

i`m so hurt now can.
i cun believe aft 1yr, you still cun let me off. aft 1yr of saein you trust`d me, you still do this to me.. i`m reali stress`d up enuff wid everythin, i cun take up anymore. i`ll jus break down soon, i reali will = [[
*sobs sobs
pls... jus let go of me before everythin turns daa opposite wae. i`m reali tryin my best to act as if i`m not affect`d by it all this while, wid you checkin up on me, phonin me as and well you feel lyk... i`ve jus finally got back my nomral life not long, i wan my life
to go on normally jus lyk before, dun hold back daa past anymore...

I've been waitin for you all along
Anticipatin wid every dream every night.
Destiny's moment we all share in time and love is the message.

it' great to noe that this aint gonna be a dream no more
i`ve decide`d to face reality and reality is YOU.

iloveYOU.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:51 PM.

Monday, September 12, 2005

i`ve got a jealousy test webbie frm immelia jiejie`s fwen blogg.
so here is daa TEST RESULTS...

You are 46.03% jealous!!!
For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.
319542 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :
-You exhibit many jealous traits.
-You are prone to over-react.
-Although your jealousy shouldn't prove to be a real problem,
you should work on controlling it more.
-Things aren't often as bad as you think.

o man, it`s actually quite true but i`m tend to be more jealous den this.
i tend to over-react to things that baby does. *o p p s = X
baby`s at my hse studyin while i`m jus online slackin. haha.

prepared and cook`d food jus now.
he did derek`s burger while i did my weilin&derek`s creation sandwich.
hadd so much fun preparin and cookin those stuffs.
i tink i my menses(good sista) are comin soon, i`m lyk pms-in so much.

gotta start to mugg already, EOY is in less den 3weeks time.
*STRESS, STRESS, STRESS

shall stop here for now.
wana go acc my baby = ]]

i wana hold you in my arms every night.
so i noe that things shall stay this wae foreva.
jus YOU&ME, in our own fairytale

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:30 PM.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

it has been a real tirin week...
been slpin freakin late, my body`s gonna break down soon too.
slept onli at 4, i guess i felt better aft saein out stuffs.

chat`d on daa phone, baby was slpy so i`m actually not very sure
whether he heard everythin that i`ve sae`d.
but sumhow i`m feelin much better now, kindah manage`d
to tell him my feelins deep deep inside me.

YES, I YEO WEI LIN WANA BE DAA WOMEN BEHIND YOU.
SUPPORTIN YOU IN WADEVA YOU DO,
THRU ALL THOSE THICK&THIN OBSTICLES IN LIFE.
I WANA BE DERE FOR YOU AS WELL AS WID YOU THRU ALL.
HAPPY OR SADD. I WANA BE DERE.
CUZ DEREK ENG CHIN HOW, YOU`RE MY EVERYTHIN.
ILOVEYOU.

will be home daa whole dae, time flies real fast.
sch`s gonns reopen tmr and i`ll have to start buckin up already.
EOY is in less den a mths time. *JIAYOU, JIAYOU, JIAYOU

my baby`s still in his SWEET SWEET DREAM, waitin for him
to be awake now. that cutiie pigg of mine. haha.

WEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee.
thou i`m not able to meet him todae, but tmr is daa dae.
will be muggin together wid gq and wendy i guess.
hope everythin turns out right.
*tsk tsk, onli baby noes wad i`m referin to (muahaha muahaha)

i will give you everythin
dere`s nothin in this world i wouldnt do
to insure your happiness
i cherish every part of you
cuz widout you beside me
i cun survive dun wana try
if you`re keepin me warm
each and every night i`ll be alright
becuz i need you in my life

iloveYOU, it`s nvr to late to sae that to you
*muacks muacks

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:13 PM.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

i hadd that DEPRESS`D feelin floodin me once i got up.
sumthin jus couldnt stop botherin me, yet i dunno wad was it.

wen MOS to mugg`d jus now. ask`d bekah to acc me,
thank GOD she was free. chat`d so much bout daa past and
so many memories came back. *SWEET SWEET MEMORIES

told her that i felt daa need of goin back to GOD`s presense urgently.
i sumhow need`d GOD right now, i`ve lost touch wid HIM for so long.
i miss HIM dearly and i reali wana try to go back into HIS presense.

did our work, and wait`d for baby to come. and we head`d to
upp thomson for prata, baby got to drive.
drop`d bekah sumwhere near to yishun mrt station and we head`d
home. parents were out celebratin mum`s b`d...

DEPRESS`D, DEPRESS`D, DEPRESS`D.
sudden urge to breakdown, i need sumone now.
but sumhow, it jus isnt him i need.
yet it was immelia jiejie instead, onli she understands how i`m feelin.
yes, i cry`d again, over sum SMALL MATTER.

i dun wana give daa impression that i dun trust you. i do!!!
i jus dun lyk you goin out so late, jus lyk how you dun
lyk me goin out late too... i dun feel secure, i dun feel safe.
i feel more at ease if you were to go out in daa mornin or aftnoon.
nvm, i`m jus daa usual selfish ME. doin things widout havin thoughts
for others as usual i guess..

i`m hurt inside, yes i am.
but other den our LORD now, i dun see anyone else who could reali
heal me completely. i need prayers peeps.

i`ve been puttin up a front for others too see.
a front that has been deceivin every single one,
a front that i have no more energy to carry on puttin...

i`m afraid dere`ll be a second time.
but none will eva make me change my LOVE for you.
iloveYOU,
but wads worst is imissYOU.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:59 PM.

Friday, September 09, 2005

woke up at 7 to gave my baby a mornin call.
his first paper todae, shant let him be late.
so i slept back aft chattin to him lil while, got up at 11.
once again, my head was hurtin and my world was spinnin.
*daa DEPRESS`D feelin came again, leavin me ponderin...

hurry`d wash`d up and got ready, left home and head`d to sem.
while walkin to daa mrt station, I FELL!!!
and yes, OUCH it hurts lyk hell. and not forgettin daa
EMBARRESSMENT that i hadd.
call`d baby but he didnt ans, sadd sadd i was. instead, call`d joyce
jiejie and told her bout it. yes i was laughin but hell it hurts both
inside&outside, to not have him dere right at daa moment...

so it wasnt very huge injuries that i suffer`d but daa side effects scuk`d.
>> my knee hurts wen i walk, thus leavin me to limp instead
>> my ankle cun bend downwards, addin pain to it if i force

so we ate and start`d MUGGIN. i`m actually very proud of myself,
have been actually muggin my whole week of daa holis and i
finally complete`d chem. plan`d out our dae for tmr.
gonna mugg at noon till 4plus, wait for my baby to come and we`ll
go pool at AMK. but i`ve to try to finish up my physics too..
gonna play for 1hr i guess and carryin on muggin for me.

hadd a quarrel wid my sis and mum jus now.
*it`s not that i dun wana go for mum`s birthdae celebration
but it was you guys who told me to make myself free on sun.
yes, i`ve did it. but wad did you guys did???
you guys change`d it to tmr and expect me to go wid last min
notice. i`ve got work to complete and i`ve got deadlines too,
not onli you guys have other plans. cun for once you guys
tink bout me. cun you guys ask`d first before doin
any arrangements. i aint that lil mummy`s gurl who goes ard whereva her
parents go anymore. i`ve got my own fwens, i`ve got my own life.
enuff is enuff, stop tellin me i`ve got other daes to complete my work.
i kept havin that kindah tinkin that was whyy i could nvr finish`d my work.
PLS DO HAVE A THOUGHT FOR ME TOO!!!

aft muggin, we head`d to daa foodcourt for dinner.
i`m happy that i finish`d my yong tau hu for dinner, wen to daa
arcade aft that cuz abang wan`d to play...
we wen to sumwher ard joyce jiejie hse daa playground.
lay`d down and jus look`d at daa sky, memories start`d comin back.
i reali miss those times.. but things have change`d, ppl have change`d too..

train`d back wid justin, chat`d so much.
understand that ppl jus change aft time no matter how much they deny...
he was real nice, he sent me home... *thanks so much
it`s been so long since i last wen home so late widout havin my baby wid me.

imissHIM.
so so much. how can i eva live widout YOU.

thank god i found you
i was lost widout you
my every wish and every dream
sumhow became reality
wen you brought daa sunlight
complete`d my whole life

i was all by myself for daa longest time
so cold inside
and daa hurt from daa heartache would not subside
i felt lyk dyin
until you save`d my life

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:50 PM.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

got up freakin early, at 8.30 jus to give my baby a
mornin call. *aint i sweet (muahaha)

was actually intendin to slp back aft but my head was killin me.
HEADACHES, HEADACHES, HEADACHES...
i so freakin dunno wads wrg wid my body, it so seems lyk it`s gonna
break down anytime soon. since i couldnt slp back, decide`d to wen online.
BOO. no one was online, so i entertain`d myself by bloggin...

i kindah blogg`d in everythin that was pissin me off last night...
all those CHILDISH&IMATURE ppl. *BOOS TO THEM.
joyce jie was online ard 9plus and she sent me those songs i wan`d ytd.
wait`d for baby to reach`d ard 11, till den was practically ROTTIN online.
watch`d tv and lay`d ard wen baby came. wasnt feelin very well due to daa
headaches and giddyness i was havin. told them i`ll be joinin them down at
civics later. was actually lyin ard wen joyce call`d....
rush`d to get ready and cab`d down, lulu need`d _ _ _ urgently.
FREAKIN FUNNY, YOU GUYS SHLD SEE HOW SHE LOOK`D.

halfwae thru studyin, my pukin feelin came again..
sharks!!! it haunt`d me nearly daa whole dae, makin me
feel Xtra uncomfortable. so we kindah got chase out of civics mac.
so we head`d to daa foodcourt instead..
it`s actually a great place to study at that time since it was actually aft
lunchtime. so another great studyin place found by MEMEME!!!

so lulu and i were freakin engross`d bout a topic we were chattin about.
so she was basically PISS`D OFF. *ponders, whyy cun guys understand..
they left ard 6, leavin baby and i dere. we left a lil while later too...
train`d back home and slack`d.

baby`s suchah KING todae, got home slack`d lil while.
and he ask`d for beacon, so i got out of bed to cook`d for him.
since we havent hadd dinner yet, i prepare`d a sandwich for him first.
so he lay`d in my room, usin his lappy to study. while i was busy
preparin food for him and his TUMMY. haha.

he left ard 9. meetin gq first den go home together..
i`m jus waitin for him to come online now...

imissHIM, yes i reali DO.
_alwaes YOU&ME, nvr apart no more

*a sudden feelin to get closer to God. i miss him dearly i guess.
i`ve neglect`d him for so long, thou i kept saein i wana go back to church,
i havent been actually doin it. sighs *actions speaks louder den words
got my other half and wilwil to send me christian songs.
sumhow while hearin, i reali miss His presense in me...

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:12 PM.

i seriously cun believe how HURTLESS&MEAN ppl can be.
esp. to their fwens!!!

they reali have nothin better to do, first they go tagg ppl`s blogg
stirrin up uninvite`d trouble. den aft that, push daa blame on others.
WADS DAA PROB WID THESE NONSENSICAL PPL!!!

cojw&ajy >>
YOU GURLS FREAKIN DUNNO WADS GET LOST ISIT??? WOW...
SO FUN HUH, TAGGIN IN JIEJIE`S BLOGG LYK NO FCUKIN
PPL CARES. EXCUSE ME, I MAY NOT NOE WAD HAPPEN`D
BUT I`M SURE NO ONES PERFECT. YUH, I AGREE THAT YOUR
ATTITUDE CHANGE`D. SO WAD IF HER ATTITUDE CHANGE`D
TOO... DIDNT YOU CHANGE`D TOO???
YOU DUN GO ARD TAGGIN HER BLOGG AND START A CONVER
WID SUM OTHER PPL... YOU GURLS HAVE NOTHIN BETTER TO DO
ISIT, TRYIN TO WASTE YOUR TIME DERE.
AND LAST OF ALL, SHE WAS AND HADD NVR ASK`D FOR HELP.
WHO DUN CRY OVER SUCH STUFFS. WHO DUN???
CRYIN DOESNT MEAN TRYIN TO ASK FOR SYMPATHY MIND YOU!!!

alrights i`m done wid nonsensical ppl taggin lyk hell.
now, lastly for daa gurl who`s suppose`d to SHUT HER MOUTH!!!

cjy >>
DUN TRY TO ACT AS IF YOU WANA HELP. YOU DIDNT EVEN
OFFER`D. SO WAD IF YOU ACT`D LYK YOU CARE, AT LEAST I
PROVE`D SUMTHIN HERE. THOU IT WASNT MY PROB BUT SEEIN
"THEM" TAGGIN LYK THAT, I TAGG`D BACK AND HELP`D.
WAD DID YOU DO??? "BOTH SIDES MY FWEN..." YUH YUH,
WADEVA KAYS!!! YOU SAE`D >>
"IF NEED PPL TO BACK IT`S WRG TO FIND WEILIN..."
DEN EXCUSE ME RICH LADY HERE, ARE YOU REFERIN THAT SHE
SHLD FIND YOU INSTEAD. SUM FWEN WHO ACTS LYK YOU WANA
HELP BUT ACTUALLY JUS DUN. YUH, AT LEAST I TRY`D ALRIGHT.
FOR FOR GOODNESS SAKE, I HELP USIN MY OWN LIMITS,
I DUN FCUKIN HAVE A BACKIN.
SO WUN YOU MIND JUS SHUT DAA FCUK UP!!!

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:10 AM.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

was freakin tired that i didnt wana get out of bed.
but i hadd to, was gonna meet joyce jie at sem to MUGG.

i took my LONGEST bath eva todae, was so reluctant to do anythin.
as usual daa lost feelin jus overcome me, didnt noe wad to do at all.
so i kindah took my own sweet time to got ready before leavin home.
chat`d wid yanting(my new found fwen) online for lil while, thou i
hardly noe her but sumhow chattin wid her made me felt happier
that moment. mayb i`m suppose`d to noe her or sumthin, but daa
feelin she gave me was as if i knew her for ages already... haha.

joyce and i lunch`d at MOS, and start`d muggin right aft.
it was great, aft not muggin for suchah long time. i actually
took sumtime before i start`d concentratin, but it was great...

in between, daa pukin feelin kept comin, was feelin so uncomfortable
but need`d to complete as much as i can for physics. so i jus held on..
so we dinner`d at MOS again too. was actually very full`d, but our mouth
were real itchy. so once again. aft i finish`d, i was so gonna puke out..

wilson came ard 6.30pm, was reali glad to see him.
haven seen him for suchah long time already = ]]
so we chat`d and he actually wan`d to leave but i kept disturbin him.
so he stay`d and study`d wid us. hadd fun wid our letter conversation,
i`m glad he sae`d those stuffs. haha. we left ard 8 lyk that..

gunpoint`d at joyce to acc me to daa mrt station. haha.
and angel chat`d wid me on daa phone till i`m back home.

I CUN WAIT TO SEE MY BABY TMR.
LIFE CAN JUS NVR BE COMPLETE WIDOUT HIM.

from daa bottom of my heart&soul
you are nvr farr awae from me.
thou you`re so farr awae, but yet it`s so near to me.

iloveYOU.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:21 PM.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

CONFUSION STRUCK!!!

i`m all lost for words, once again hurtin badly inside.
i guess i`ll jus be goin thru all this... = [[

i feel lyk breakin down again but i cun.
my mum`s still awake, she jus cun seem to let me have slience.
i cun take daa stress she`s givin, i`m reali stress`d up enuff.
i hope none of this hadd happen`d at all.
nothin seems to be goin right, stress jus seems to be buildin up.
i`m tired of everythin now, seriously cun take it anymore...

giddyness and headaches fill`d me again daa whole dae.
but i was glad that he was dere, i need sumone badly now for me..

for once, nothin seems to be goin right.
every single thing is jus on daa wrg track. i need sumone dere badly..
my whole world seems to be collaspin onto me, i cun have a breather.

everythins drainin me down too fast, wae too fast..
i cun seem to get hold of anythin right now.

PPL, I`M TIRED.
I`M SO BREAKIN DOWN ALREADY. PLS... WHYY WUN ANYONE
JUS LET ME GO... TELL ME, TELL ME WAD AM I SUPPOSE`D TO DO??

LIFE IS STARTIN TO FADE AWAE INFRONT OF ME...
ARE ALL THIS TEMPTATIONS FROM DAA DEVIL,
I CUN DECIDE`D NO MORE....

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:55 PM.

i'm at my baby's hse now...
havin nothin to do, bloggin seems daa onli thing...

felt real depress'd once i got up of bed.
havent felt this kindah feelin for such a long time.
wad was goin on, my mind's jus blank???

felt slightly better aft msgin wid angel and immelia. they were dere
listenin everythin. i mean, my life seems to be in a HUGE MESS now.
jiejie was reali nice, we both are so hit by depression i guess, told her
how badd and lost i was feelin inside. i mean, frankly,
other den her. no one else seems to noe how i'm feelin inside...
SHE'S DAA BEST OF DAA BEST!!! *muacks

last night was reali... i dunno how i shld elaborate it either.
LOST??? HURT??? UPSET???
i guess all this feelins were jus circlin ard inside my head, mix'd up.
i jus couldnt put up a front for everyone to see anymore,
i'm drain'd up inside whether anyone noes.. it's jus very tirin
to go on.. i finally broke down on daa phone again.
daa 10mins of slience i hadd before baby call'd back.
things jus start'd flashin back inside me,
i felt i wasnt a good fwen, good gf and a good daughter!!!
i was so SELFISH IN EVERYTHIN&ANYTHIN i do. sighs.

i told angel >> i seriously tink that i fail'd bein a gf to *him.
(i wish i was more understandin towards him)

WO HAO SHI BAI AH, LIAN YAO DAI GEI TA XING FU DOU BU NENG.

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:55 PM.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

ENUFF IS ENUFF!!!
DUN GO ARD SCOLDIN ME USIN THAT F*** WORD.

I HADD ENUFF.
TILL DAA DAE I CUN TAKE IT ANYMORE AND I COMMIT SUICIDE.
JUS RMB YOU HAVE NOT DONE YOUR PART AS A FATHER TO ME.

EVEN WEN I NEED MONEY, YOU`VE NVR CAME INTO MY MIND
BEFORE. WAD RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAE THAT I`LL ONLI BE NICE
WEN I NEED MONEY. HUH...
MONEY??? BE NICE TO YOU???
HAHA... THAT`S DAA FUNNIEST JOKE EVA!!!
DUN FORGET MR. YOU`VE GOT NO MONEY FOR ME TO SPEND RMB.
ONLI MUMMY WILL HAVE MONEY FOR ME, ONLI SHE`LL GIVE ME
MONEY TO SPEND. OTHER DEN MY DAILY ALLOWANCE, I HARDLY
GET MONEY FROM YOU. SO FOR GOODNESS SAKE, TINK HARD BEFORE
OPENIN YOUR GAP.

WIN 4D OR TOTO???
HAHA. IF IT`S YOUR MONEY DEN IT`LL BE YOURS.
THINGS DUN COME FOR FREE, YOU WORK FOR IT.
INCLUDIN MONEY TOO ALRIGHT...
DUN GO ARD TELLIN ME THOSE CRAPS.
I`VE HEARD ENUFF OF IT.. O PLS...
GO WORK HARDER, IF NOT JUS SAVE UP DAA MONEY YOU`RE
SPENDIN ON GAMBLIN. IT AINT TAKIN YOU ANYWHERE...

i`m so piss`d right now. howcum you`re my dad.
o man, wad ROTTEN LUCK i have here..

mySWEETaddiction <3
6:35 PM.

a sudden depressin feelin hit`d me, and i`m jus here to blogg.
frankly speakin, i dunno wad i`m doin here thou.

but a sudden need to pin down feelins i guess.
call`d him lil while askin bout my blogg thingy, and he
wan`d to slp so he sae`d he`ll call back later.
and yes ppl... that later nvr came.
*she`s startin to be real depress
he needs to get ready to go to his ah ma`s hse.

thanks joyce jiejie for sendin me so much sadd songs,
i`ve been drownin in them since 1 i guess...
i dun wana stop, i wana carry on drownin in them..

my heart`s achin for no reason,
my mind`s twrilin for no reason either..
tell me wads wrg, tell me!!!!

and i`ll be meetin joyce jie, abang, minger jie tmr.
they`ll be havin physics remedial in daa mornin,
so i`ll jus wait for them outside sch at 10.30.
will be headin to northpoint to take neos and den MUGG.
but will be leavin ard 3plus 4, meetin my baby for a movie..
it`s been so long since we last watch`d a movie, aft daa price incease`d.

PRAYS FOR A GREAT DAE AHEAD TMR = ]]

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:55 PM.

[ yesterday ]

met baby at daa mrt station and we head`d to northpoint to
get lunch. yoshinoya again and pork ribs from cold storage.

head`d back home aft that. was actually suppose`d to meet joyce jie
and abang to go mugg. but baby hadd to leave early so i dun see a
a point meetin them den. so we stay`d at home. intendin to
mugg but in daa endd we watch`d tv and slept.
opps : X

so he left slightly later den he was suppose`d to cuz his mum call`d
saein that he doesnt need to leave that early.
so i slack`d and ROTT`D my dae awae aft that...

i didnt noe i was lyk that inside you.
aft wad i heard i was sadd. yes i felt reali sadd.
i didnt noe i control`d you too much out of concern.
i didnt noe that to you, i was steppin on top of your head.

i reali hope nothin will change,
yes i feel so hurt in some waes but i`m willin to change
for you, yes i reali do... *sobs sobs

[ today ]

got up suddenly, as your words last night suddenly kept
ringin in my head...
whyy am i lyk that??? sumone pls jus wake me up.

it`s a fright to lose you daa other time, i dun wana make daa
same mistake once again.
if by changin, you`ll be happy.
i`ll be tryin my very best to change for you...

i`m not gonna be meetin my baby todae, so i guess
i`ll jus be rottin my dae thru again.
aft all, my heart seems to be so messy now.

TO YOU CHILDISH ASS`S. STOP GOSSIPIN AND PUSHIN
ALL DAA FCUKIN BLAME TO MY JIEJIE.
I DUN FCUKIN CARE WAD SHE DID, AFT ALL NO ONES
PERFECT. PLS DO LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE
OPENIN THAT FCUKIN BIGG GAP OF YOU PPL.
IF YOU TINK YOU CUN LEAVE WIDOUT YOUR GOOD
FWEN DEN JUS STICK WID HER FOR ALL I CARE, BUT
DUN EVA FEEL LONELY WEN THAT GOOD FWEN OF
YOURS SIDES GUYS IN DAA FUTURE. CUZ IT`S ALL YOUR
FAULT TO NOT BE ABLE TO NOT HAVE HER IN YOUR LIFE.

i`m in so desperate need to hear baby`s voice.
for comfirmation or wad so eva it is.
but i`m nnot gonna tink so much...
jus need`d to hear it baddly...

those sadd&depressin songs that are playin in my com
now are jus smoothin my heart???
i`m so lost too, i dunno. but hearin those now sumhow
jus seems more appropriate i guess = [[

I would be so lost widout you
Dun tink I can carry on
I`ll be a mess for the rest of my life
Wish I could lay down and die
I would be so lost widout you
Dun tink that I`ll be able to stand up again
Dun tink I`ll be able to fall in love again

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:30 PM.

Friday, September 02, 2005

havin been updatin.
PLAIN LAZYNESS!!!

much stuffs happen`d but i guess things are better now.
shant elaborate either, aft all it`s over.

[ thursday ]

train`d down to bukit gombak to meet baby.
WEEEEee.. he finally got his drivin licence.
*daa happy baby of mine
aft that we train`d down to lavander cuz i got to get my passport
pic update`d. but aft waitin for lyk 2hrs plus they sae i couldnt
update it as i wasnt 16 yet. met ahbong and zhicai dere too.
surprise`d surprise`d i shld sae, didnt expect to see them dere.

so we train`d back home aft that, stoppin by daa coffeeshop downstairs
to get dinner. kindah hadd a tiff actually but was alright af that...

aft all, a great dae apent wid baby.

[ today ]

hadd very few lessons cuz it was daa last dae of sch before daa
1week holi starts. got back our report book...
i guess i didnt did very well but better den last term of cuz.

rush`d back home,honey was wid me too.
she wait`d while i got ready.
train`d down to bukit gombak again to meet my baby.
den we train`d to boonlay. wen to daa supermart and got some snacks
to munch`d on... got my fav vanilla pocky, and we bus`d to his hse.

watch`d jonny english daa movie on his lappy while snackin on our
snacks. his mum and dad got back in daa aftnoon...
stay`d till 9. as usual, was too ps to have dinner so i jus ate fruits.
baby`s neighbour came up, cute abd chatty gurl.
he train`d me back to yishun and i walk`d back myself as he was tired.
am waitin for him to get home now, kindah felt sadd walkin back jus now.

so i walk`d a huge round back home, cuz i felt pwettie crop`d up suddenly.

homeSWEEThome now....

wid open arms i welcum you into my life
wid open heart i welcum you in it
you step`d in and stay`d
bein dere for me, while we wen thru loads together

i love you,
i miss you.
nothin can take you awae from me.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:53 PM.