More Than Words

Monday, January 24, 2005

todae was my 1st dae widout him. ain`t feelin very good. miss his msg`s and stuff.

hindin my tears and jus tryin to put a fake smile.

cryin out still seems better but i wana be strong. i still lurf you and i`m waitin fer you

to turn back. which i`m reali wishin tat the dae will come.

in sch was missin you lyk crazyy. but aft a while was reali too busy and stress`d up. so kinda putyou behind my mind. but weneva i`m alone or free you`ll jus appear in it.

i dunno wad bout you. but i guess i`m jus a past in yer mind now.

wishin those daes were bac.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:35 PM.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

was so happy chattin on the phone wid him ytd.. seems lyk everythin was alrite but i guess it`s not. cuz he left me in total darknees the nxt dae.

it`s too sudden and i wasn`t expectin it either. i reali lurf you alot but i dunno whyy you are doin this to me. it seems lyk you were nv gonna leave me buy...

sobs sobs. wad about the promises you`ve made??? wad bout you wana be wid me foreva???

are this all lies or are you saein so i`ll lurf you more and not leave you.

i`m puzzle`d the whole dae. wen i receive`d his msg`d i was so happy. but i got a break-up

msg instead. was i too naive to believe everythin you once sae`d to me???

i`m jus too hurt to continue everythin.

you knew it was gonna hurt me but yet you still made tat decision and no matter wad i sae`d

i was nv gonna get back the fairytale.

you pick`d me up wen my other ex push`d me awae, you pull`d me up from the place i nv wana be in and you fix`d the broken heart of mine.

whyy did you choose to break it again???

was it reali a reason fer leavin or wan it jus an excuse???

my fwenx and my juniors tink tat it was jus an excuse.

you sae`d sowwie but you still left.

i rather the sowwie wasn`t dere and you stay`d.

i reali miss you so much how are daes gonna pass lyk tat???

mySWEETaddiction <3
6:21 PM.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

a dae which i never wan`d it to come at all.

got shout`d early in the morinin by my mum & kena beaten by her too. wth.

but yea i dun give a big fcuk cuz it`s alwaes lyk tat.

call`d dear and thought i`ll get those comfort he use`d to give but....

i didn`t get those at all. dunno wads wrg.

is he reali very busy wid his studies and cca??? or is our relationship startin to sour???

i reali dunno. he`s too much fer me to lose. but we`re not as close animore.

i ask`d him ytd whether he has lost feelins but he sae`d nope. isit real???

jus wana hold you tight and not let go,

missin you too much fer you to go.

cannot live life widout you,

i need you baby.

wen to eat dinner wid my cousin & tan fon. eat at crystal jade. damn full, they kept

orderin the food lyk nobodys business.

the waitress were kinda shock`d too. cuz we kept orderin never even see the price oso.

haha in the endd the bill came out to be $60+ but they sae`d tat it was cheap.

haha they start`d workin le. not the same animore le wor. keke.

aniwae had soooo much fun too.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:00 PM.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

YEAH, WE WON!!! so happpppppppppyyyyyyyyy.

we won our first match todae. 28 - 14.

omg... are we dreamin or wad???

hehe nah.... we reali won. though we won and we`re so damn madd bout it.

we still gotta train harder cuz more match`s are comin up.

wish sooooooo hard tat we can get into the second round man.

though we won but sum of us kinda pay`d the price. keke. i fell and hurt my left tigh and stuff.

kinda hurts. but it`s ok cuz it`s sooooooooooooooooooo worth it.

N.B.S.S NETBALL TEAM RAWK!!!

ONCE A FAMILY OF US,

ALWAES A FAMILY OF US.

seniors we`re tryin our very best to do our school proud.

hope we`ll not dissapoint yer all.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:49 PM.

Friday, January 14, 2005

todae was alrite except fer me kinda toot. keke.

wen sch bringin the wrg books...

had physics but brought social studies instead.

had to bring POA but forgotten to take to sch... argh... wads wrg wid meeee.....

miss dear sooooo much.

dunno wads wrg. i feel tat things aren`t goin on the same animore.

cried ytd nite cuz of sumthin....

sumthin is reali wrg wid meeeee.... but... i dunno wad.

quite sadd todae. call`d dear dear but he never ans at all. : ((

now at home ask`d him whether he can use the phone but... the ans still the same is cannot.

everythin seems to be in a mess. but i`m most worried but the relationship now.

isit startin to get rocky now???

i dun even dare to ask... ytd kinda sae sumthin wrg den made dear dear piss`d.

haiz guess i`m jus not lucky enuff to have you long ba.

i reali dunno. i dun dare to tink bout the negative things le.

i reali dun dare...

the sky seems to get darker and darker,

will everythin be alrite is wad i`m askin myself,

worried and scare`d is wad i`m feelin now,

bad things come,

bad things go,

i jus hope tat it jus doesn`t take you awae from me.

i dun wana let go,

lettin you go is never a thing i`ve eva thought,

wad bout you???

-[i swear i`ll be dere anitime you wan me to]-

-[i`ll be true here to you]-

-[dun leave me lonely, cuz i need you]-

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:10 PM.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

i never thought of how you feel,

never knew tat it was true,

accomodatin me is alwaes you...

never knew tat i was lyk tat in yer heart but...

it`s ok. cuz i now noe.

the selfish me, the selfish me...

never thought tat i was lyk tat inside yer heart...

haiz... whyy do i feel so jealous alwaes???

i keep feelin lyk tat cuz i`m afraid.

selfish, jealous, thoughtless, badd...

tat is ME....

i`m so not fit to even be yer gf, alwaes makin you feel tat wae.

the dae you ask`d was lyk a fairytale.

but wen i woke up i found out tat it was reality.

i`m so sowwie tat everythin turn`d out lyk tat.

SOWWIE TAT I`M NOT A PERFECT GF AFTERALL.

i`ll try and be the gf you wish i am kz... i`m sowwie.

~aini1314~

trainin wasn`t tat badd todae.. except tat i was a defender once again.

hate it wen alison is so proud.

so wad if you`re the shooter now...

dun have to act till so lao lan de lo.

see le oso feel lyk whackin yer face man.

wee... jersey is comin on mon le.. cun wait man.

wana see how the jersey looks lyk...

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:30 PM.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

stomach hurtin lykk hell...

i`m in great pain...

msg`d dear and he didn`t reply... haiz : ((

no mood... no energy to bother whether he reply....

in great great pain now...

dunno wads wrg wid my stomach...

alwaes pain fer no reason...

sumbody save meeeee.....

-[ all i need`d was yew dere fer me but.... ]-

-[ will yew be dere wen i call yew in the middle of the nite, will yew be dere?? ]-

*dear i`m sowwie tat i didn`t comfort yew. but my stomach was reali hurtin lyk hell not tat i dun wan to. i`m soooooooo sowwie.

i noe tat i`ve kinda fail`d in my part as a stead in this relationship...

dui bu qi... : ((

but you`re the onli one tat is in my heart.

aini1314, yongbufenli.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:50 PM.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

todae is me and dear dear`s 1st mth... keke. hao gao xing ar : ))

woohoo. so happy man cuz i`m able to meet him jus now. dear dear so sweet, rush`d down from sch straight awae. oooo... so touch`d lo, though we onli spent a tiny winy while together.

jus now wen to took neo-card, dunno whyy alwaes take neo-card will screw-up de lo. haiz.

but nvm at least i`m able to see dear dear.

todaes trainin was reali tough lo. cuz ytd the trainin already made my leg pain le. den todae train again. haiz hao tong ar... sobs.

did so many shoots todae. jus keepin shootin and shootin. teacher bluff us wor...

sae north-zone is comin in 2 weeks time but jus now sae tat it`ll start nxt week.

wen everyone heard, all of us damn shock`d man.

aniwae trainin made my leg reali reali pain. it`s so pain till i cun walk down from a flight of stairs. if i walk too slow den my tigh will pain till i`ll tear.

HAPPY 1ST MTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!! MUACKIES...

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:10 PM.

Monday, January 10, 2005

NETBALL RAWKX MAN!!! keke. kinda crazyy ritex. todaes trainin was reali good.

suddenly felt tat we`re a real team le. all hearts combined as one. wee.

everyone was trainin very hard and everyone was very serious todae.

hey ppl, we`ll work very hard kz. north-zone is comin le. we cun afford to lose animore time.

every sec and trainin to us now is reali precious.

JIA YOU, JIA YOU & JIA YOU... NETBALL RAWKX MY WORLD!!!

todae we did 10sets of diff thingys. ran round the whole sch and though it was damn tirin, i was reali very happy seein everyone so serious at last.

guess we`ll prove to mrs koh this time and we`ll not gonna dissapoint her again kz.

since we`re workin harder now we`ve gotta prove to her kz.

todae reali miss dear dear soooo much but haiz oso cun see him. but i`m happy enuff

cuz last nite managed to talk to him fer a while before i go to slp.

wee... tmr is me and dear dear`s 1mth le. sooooooo happy.

yeah... can see him le.. keke sat oso gonna pei him go buy shorts.

HAO AI HAO AI NI AR... MUACKIES..

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:42 PM.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

blah blah blah... ytd wen out todae??? hmmm... guess i`m gonna be a good good gurl and stay

at home. cuz haven finish my maths and physics homewk yet.

rottin and sickk,

feelin down inside the head,

wana see him but he`s not dere,

the onli wae to see him is to look inside my heart.

i miss you so much,

the times we hadd had alwaes been treasured by me.

In my loneliness

Your thoughts keeps coming to my mind

I keep seeing your face wherever I turn

Your smiles keeps following me all times

Memories of times spent together is seen

Your laughter keeps echoing in my ears

Then I realise that I'm not alone

That the love is here beside me

And my heart belongs to you and...

With you alone is where my heart lies

And I'm missing you like crazy.

BABY, I LURF YOU SO MUCH. DAES WITHOUT YOU ARD IS A TORTURE.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:10 AM.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

haiz... my attitude jus sux lyk hell. i hate myself....

BLOODY ATTITUDE_LET ME BLEED TO DEATH

my attitude is havin a brain of its own. livin from the dead. leave my headd....

dear, i`m so sowwie fer my attitude...

haiz dui bu qi : ((

i`m alwaes lyk tat... makin you worried, unhappy and piss`d... the useless part of me is alwaes dere. i`ll try to change kz dear... i`m sowwie. [01.10am]

yawns. mornin. it`s 11am now and i`m dead tired. haiz dear dear havin trainin now,

dunno wad time is he gonna endd.

one week can onli see him fer less den 4hrs.

WHYY??? I FEEL LYK I`M IN HELL NOW.

people often sae tat every relationship lies a story behind it. though i dunno wad the story is,

i rather not noe and go on wid dear foreva.

later after his trainin i`m gonna go meet him. hehe. he`s gonna teach me my homewk thingys.

keke naughty hor. opps :x

aniwae waitin fer dear`s trainin to endd now. and i`m so rottin at home too. [11.10am]

jus got home from dinner... burp* so full. wen to watch kungfu hustle wid justin,suling, dear dear & jiefu fer the second time. hehe so happy tat i could spend slightly more time wid dear dear. after the movie dear dear wen home. haiz : (( so sadd

so wen to meet simon, tan fon and my cousin fer dinner.

DEAR, I`M MISSIN YOU SOOOOOO MUCH.

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:20 PM.

Friday, January 07, 2005

yeah... todae is fridae le... sooooooooooo happy. cuz tmr can see dear dear le.

lyk very long never see him le. dunno whether did he became skinner.

once a week den can see him. haiz such a torture : ((

todae had to bring onli books fer 4subs but still very heavy cuz the POA book is reali thick.

finish`d sch at 12.30pm, wen to long john wid suling to haf lunch.

after tat wen home bathe and wen to sembawang to collect my billabong membership card thingy. was dere wid suling and justin first den wait`d fer simon and my cousin dere.

after collectin the card we had nothin to do so we wen to the food point and ate sumthin.

wee... we wen to the arcade. so funny. dey play`d land games so me and suling were rather free fer the past one hour. so we decided to play sum games too. we play`d a game wid babies in it. soooooooo cute.. keke. the babies so funny made me and suling luagh fer bout half and hour non-stop. __ crazyy gurls __

we`re at the arcade till 5pm+ 6pm. wen to a food court i tink opposite. the food court is call`d "S21". weird name to haf. ate a few dish`s and a half a plate of rice. den took the free shutter bac to yishun. wen northpoint rot ard. till gonna 9pm den decided to go home wid my cousin.

sian now waitin fer dear dear to reach home cuz he has campfire.

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:18 PM.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

wad a dae to haf... my bag was damn heavy and my shoulders are aching lyk madd.

books books books... seein them everydae. mind`s twriling round and round.

school was ok except tat most of the textbk tat i brought was of no use. teacher didn`t even use it. damn it man!!! made me carry all the wae to sch den never use.

after sch, joyce jie jie was suppose`d to pei me home but in the endd she didn`t.

was kinda piss`d at first but i was alrite after tat. rush`d home to put all those books and get change`d fer trainin. finish`d sch at 1.05pm den i left hse at 2.15pm lyk tat.

cannot be late cuz meetin hao jie mei at khatib den go sch together.

reach`d sch den wen to dunno which class to find jie jie. shit man!!! so many st. john`s ppl

inside. saw the bitch tat i didn`t lyk. hate the wae she look.

if she look at me lyk tat again ar. i`ll zam her face and make her kun sa ni ah.

haha means i`ll punch her and let her be unconscious fer 3yrs ah. keke tats wad my god-bro alwaes sae.

the start of trainin was ok. but till the endd of it. IT WAS HELL!!! cuz mrs koh made

us run 2.4km but we`re reali damn tired cuz it was gonna be the endd of trainin soon.

so we kinda took our time to run... keke. the naughty grp pf us.

so we came back lyk 20mins later. guess wad?? mrs koh was fumin man.. opps :x

she`s on fire. so we`re all punish`d fer runnin so long.

our punishment --> 40 push-ups, 20 sit-ups, 20 crunches, scissors in the air till she`s satisfied.... blah blah blah... do till my stomach so cramp. after trainin gotta faster go home cuz got lotx of homewk to do...

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:39 PM.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

tryin to be bloodly guai now. durin lessons time oso start to listen le, not lyk last time alwaes

sian le den will sleep in class. not reali sae dun dare to sleep more to dun wan le. cuz

this year sec3 damn impt year fer me. whether i can promote to sec4 is all gonna be in my hands man. VERY SCARED!!! not bein able to promote to sec4 is the last thingy i wan to happen to me. cuz i reali dun wana retain and waste one year fer no reason.

after sch i pei suling to wait fer her laogong den we all go had lunch wid my cousin, tan fon and my hao jie mei. after tat we decided to go my cousin hse to do homewk.

had POA didn`t noe how to do, so go my cousin hse ask him to teach me.

was dere till 6.30pm den me, my cousin, suling and justin wen to eat dinner. after eatin dinner wen home to watch tv.. keke.

kinda short dae i had but yet interesting.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:05 PM.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

haiz... gotta wake up early fer sch todae again. sian man.

bag damn heavy cuz thanx to the sch we cun leave our books under the table animore.

so heavy!!! teacher ask`d us bring eng, maths & POA textbk den... guess wad???

they didn`t use it. haiz.... sec3 life is damn stressful.

i`m reali afraid tat i cannot cope wid my studies and my cca. kinda gettin more homewk this

daes, north-zone is comin and i`m havin extra trainins.

HOW AM I GOIN TO COPE??? or lord pls help me... aniwae trainin was ok.

did climbin of stairs, ball passin drills, practice`d shootin and play`d a match.

dead tired!!! but i`ve still got homewk to complete so... after updatin i`m gonna go bom bom

and do my homewk.

kinda wana be guai now le cuz reali wana strive well this yr. and i`m decidin to complete

my homewks cuz dun wana get detention too... keke : ))

alrite overall miss`d dear sooooooooooooooo much. and i cun see him.

both of us are pack`d wid our ccas and schs.... haiz.

DEAR, NI ZAI NA NI??? WO HAO XIANG NI AR....

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:40 PM.

Monday, January 03, 2005

first dae of sch was suppose to be fun. but instead... i felt tat first dae of sch sux.

my form teacher is miss tan. she didn`t gave the whole class a good impression.

she catch my rubber band and my socks. shit lar!!! y rubber band blue oso cannot. wth man.

it`s blue. wads wrong wid you ppl. blue and navy blue are oso the same wads the diff.

aniwae reali miss dear alot alot. now tat sch has reopen i cannot see dear as often animore.

wonderin how am i gonna survive lyk tat. i`m onli able to msg him... haiz...

dear, wo hao xiang ni ah. haiz.

aniwae overall sch sux lar todae. freakin hell we cannot leave books in sch animore man.

our books are freakin heavy. whyy dun dey even haf lockers in sch. makin us carryin books back and forth is reali gonna drive us crazyy!!!

WO HAO XIANG NI AR DEAR!!!

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:45 PM.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

HAPPY YEAR 2006.

honey treat'd papa and me lunch at swensens.
so daa start of daa day was great,
was out in daa mornin...

head'd back to papa's hse and slack'd till 7,
bus'd down to town to get our cookies...
bought some sprays frm his cousin and
we train'd down to city hall meetin daa rest.
a huge grp indeed, almost 20 of us.
walk'd thru those huge crowd of ppl and made
our way to marina square.
wen to daa open field and had fun dere.
daa fireworks were definitely great...

it's was heart breakin,
it seems that everywhere we wen,
it had a special memory of you&me.
it was lyk memory lane whereva we wen.

regardless wad you say bout me..
you're jus doin it on purpose so i'll hate you.
sorry to say, you cant make me hate you.

and to make this clear,
no chance was given to anyone at all.
EVERYONE is clear that you're daa one
i love and still waitin for...

cry'd so much and drank 1bottle.
cause i had it empty stomach,
i was only half-conscious wen i'm done.
daa guys were great,
they comfort'd me and we chat'd bout my prob.
couldnt stop cryin and i guess i kindah scared them.
was lil tipsy and start'd goin CRAZY,
kept laughin and did stupid stuffs...

walk'd in daa rain thru out
and my head was rippin apart.
slack'd outside raffles city till dere was bus,
took bus 174 at ard 6.30 and change'd to 171 aft..

slept lil while at papa's hse as i wasnt feelin well,
bus'd 171 back home...

skip'd sentosa today as i aint feelin well and
cause it keeps rainin non-stop.

each and every night
i'll look up at my three lucky stars that i've named after you
because you are the one who has made my dreams come true
i never really thought that i could lose you this way
i never even thought that it was possible for such a horrible day
all this is to say that no matter what happens i love you and i always will...

i will love you till the moon decides never to shine
i will love you forever because your heart is mine
i will love you till the world should decide to end
i will love you forever.

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:50 PM.