More Than Words

Sunday, July 31, 2005

UPDATES UPDATES!!!

wen to northpoint to get jiemei`s present.
a huge one, which made me broke for now..
but i`m content`d wid jus a smile from her..

wen for soul wid daa whole grp of 16peeps.
nothin much happen`d, ate, chat`d, photo-takin session..
tear`d out of sumthin, felt seriously left out at first.
lyk i wasnt belong`d dere at all..
wen to meet honey outside soul and kindah got
real upset.. justin kor came out for a chat and i told
him stuffs..
i reali dunno who i could trust anymore...

decide`d to pool aft we hadd no idea where to go.
was totally lost, first time pool-in you see..
lols, simon and tanfon kor were my "coachs"
but wen to daa multi-story carpark to cigg first...
while daa guys were smokin,
we gurls found great fun dere..
pool`d till 9plus and all decide`d to leave...
cab`d home as honey was unwell..
we sent her home first.. she got us freakin piss`d
seriously but shant elaborate much...

a great dae aft all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAE JIEMEI = ]

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:03 PM.

life is so unpredictable..
but dun do anythin foolish my fwens.
i now it hurts, i noe those memories lingers inside.

i`ll alwaes be by you guys side, if you eva need me.
but pls dun hurt yourself no more. it`s hurtin me too...

- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
Live your own life.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
Be happy.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
I'll protect you.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
Though I may be your friend,
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
I'll protect you, 24/7
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
I promise.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
I always was scared to say this.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
But...
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
I miss you. Ever since you left BK.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
It wasn't your smile.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
It wasn't even your voice
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
It was your presence.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
But I'd rather miss your presence, than have it.
- Xterminator - And so it starts. Darkness engulfs me as I return back into the darkest chapter of my life. [Penknives] says:
No part of me wishes to poison your happiness anymore.

honey >>
i noe how much it hurts to push those pride awae
and ask him back. pls dun follow my footsteps.
panadol overdose aint takin awae daa pain i tell you.
daa pain stays and you`ll feelin nothin better...
you noe i`m here and you are free to confide anythin.

max >>
you`re my sunshine bro. i hope you wun hurt yourself
anymore. if you tink no one else can choose daa path
except you, i agree. but pls dun hurt yourself for her
wen she doesnt care. i hope you wun give up your
YoYos and Magic. those are wad you brought laughter
into my life...
and i`ll alwaes be dere wen you need me, i`m sure
you noe bout that....

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:25 AM.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

HE`S BACK, HE`S BACK...
I THOUGHT I WAS DREAMIN,
AND HE ASSURE`D ME THAT I WASNT..

I`M BACK IN HIS ARMS AGAIN = ]
I loveLOVElove DEREK LOADS...

I promise you,from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am

I swear,
I'll be there,
anytime you want me to,
I'll be true,
here for you,
Don't leave me lonely,
cause i need you..

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:03 PM.

my flu is WORSE now.
and i tink that my fever is comin again.

still wen for tuition, cun skip`d again
or i`ll get slaughter`d by my dad.
tuition was badd todae, cun stop usin tissues.
and my sneezin jus wen on for 2HRS.
*AH CHOOOO

finally aft 4daes of not eatin,
i ate congee jus now...
glad that my stomach finally accepts
sum food down...

i cun stop lookin at our pics,
those testi you`ve wrote for me.
i regret`d not noein how to treasure you.
now that i`ve lost you, it`s too late already...

i`m reali happy bout ytd,
i felt as if we`re back together..
but we`re not. but i`m happy enuff for now..

i will lurf you till daa endd of time
every breath of my, i`ll hold you by my side
i`ll rest in peace, my baby
would you, let me die in your arms wid you

onli you can stop daa rain tonight
onli you can change my world from black to white
so i`ll close my eyes and dream a little more..

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:11 PM.

Friday, July 29, 2005

jus found out sumthin..
i dunno whether wad i did was right but..

mayb things werent as simple as it may seem.

MAYB, MAYB, MAYB...

so many questions fill`d my head wen i found out.
memories...
i guess it wasnt meant to be erase`d that easily.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH,
I WANA HOLD YOU SO TIGHT.
WEN ARE YOU COMIN BACK???

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please

I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element

Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:08 PM.

my flu is killin me.
havin blocknose and difficulty breathin..
*AH CHOOOOOOOO

i slept real well ytd as i got
to hear his voice.
hadd a great dream but shant elaborate it...
but my dream was so real that i thought i was awake
but was real dissapoint`d wen i woke up realisin
that it was jus a mere dream that i hadd
*i wish daa dream i hadd will reali come true.

hadd my book promo presentation in sch todae was
alright i guess, except that i sound`d real weird
as i`m down wid a flu.

was msgin wid him and i felt real happy in a wae,
thou he took quite sumtime to reply me...
i`m startin to see my world light up again...

smile and made sure i was alright infront
of my fwens. but justin came up to me
durin recess and sae`d
"i heard wad happen`d. are you alright???"

firstly, i`m not alright, obviously.
and i held on to my tears wen he ask`d.
i try`d lookin awae but my eyes still gave wae.
and i got a thrashin from abang andy.
he told me loads of stuffs and made me look`d
into his eye. he was fierce but i knew it was
out of concern...

wen to Sri Narayana Home for cip.
interact`d loads wid daa ppl dere,
and found out loads of stuffs...
it pains my heart to see those ppl dere,
all alonee widout daa ppl they need, so lonely.

walk`d ard northpoint aft that as i didnt wana go home,
fri is daa dae which we normally...
so it kindah felt weird if i go home that early..
walk`d into BK and was surprise`d to see max dere.
sat beside his table, and he did magic as usual.
that brighten up my dae..

chat`d wid honey and found out sum stuffs..
i shant elaborate much..
but trustin fwens is gettin harder this daes..

Baby I can't wait
To feel your love again
Cause only you can stop this pain
That i've been feeling
So let's start all over
And put the past behind
And make a love to stand
To the test of time...

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:58 PM.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

SOOOOO HAPPY!!!

i got to chat lil while wid him jus now..
thanks to my com.
my powerpoint was not install`d and i need`d it
urgently for my book promo tmr...
call`d him for SOS, and i took freakin half an hour
to get it done..

*sorry.. i`m a com idiot.

as usual skip`d my dinner and got my dad fumin hot.
and i told a LIE, i sae`d i ate heavy for recess and lunch.
i`ve not eaten proper meals for 2daes, and i`m not hungry.
hmmm.. weird me. but nvm...

I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize

You forced me to become strong
When I just cried, being weak
And you think you know
And I would like to think so
But do you know that when you go
I fall apart

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:10 PM.

hadd a sudden shock sumhow that made me
woke up from my slp. was havin a real badd feelin
and i saw your msg.

it was 4.30am, aft readin i couldnt stop worryin.
i call`d but you were slpin.
i noe that you are confuse, i noe...
but you made me promise not to do anythin foolish.
whyy did you...???
it reali breaks my heart seein you lyk that...
couldnt fall aslp so kept lookin at our pics...

i thought i was alright, and i could smile and
stay strong so peeps ard wun worry.
but i was wrg. daa min i saw jiemei and honey,
i held on to my tears real hard...
sheena dearr gave me a hugg and bit me on my shoulder.
that was wen i totally broke down..

a sudden flash back of memories fill`d my head.
i couldnt stop tinkin that you`re out of my life
in a sudden flash...
i try`d to hold back those tears but i fail`d...
i`m so sorry... my promise to you...

i smile`d to allow jiemei and honey to stop worryin but
broke down as soon as i try`d to keep my spirits high.

*i smile outside to let you peeps noe that i`m alright.
i noe that i`m jus lyin to myself...
but do i have other options open for me???

decide`d not to have PE as i wasnt in daa mood.
hadd a new PE teacher and he`s real nice.
chat`d bout his life and bout his ex and stuffs.
he sae`d sumthin and i cry`d suddenly,
he got shock`d and they convince`d me to confide
in him.. aft saein out, i felt better cuz he understands...
he gave sum advises to me... thanks = ]

msg`d wid you and i decide`d to stay strong, those tears
were held back and i pretend`d that i was alright.
wen you ask`d me "whyy do you lurf me so much???"
i reply`d, pinnin in so much hopes...
smile`d so much to honey, tellin her how happy i was.
but daa reply`d that came back wasnt wad i`ve expect`d.
i jus dae-dream too much, tinkin you`ll be back todae...

durin poa, jiemei and i beg`d mr joseph to postpone
our test todae, i was ill daa past few daes and wasnt
in daa mood to study at all. finally he agree`d reluctantly.

i was scrollin ard fwenster and i saw
that you`ve taken daa pic we took together awae.
it hurts but i`m in no position to sae anythin...
I REALI LURF YOU,
WAD CAN I DO TO HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN???

i felt daa urge to hugg you.
thought of loads of lurf song and i wrote a song
for you, it`s short but from daa bottom of my heart.

so here it goes >>

pls dun go
i need you baby
dun leave me here alonee
wen you noe that i`m still here
jus for you

oh baby...

i am strong
in daa power of lurf
i`ve not let go
so pls stay wid me
and let my dreams come true again.

in daa middle of daa night
wen i dream of you
i see those happy times we had
wen you kiss`d me on my head
as for now thou i`m alonee
but nothin can change daa fact
that i need you by my side

tell me, tell me wad is wrg
why wun you give a chance to me
to amend wad i`ve did
so i could have you in my arms again...

mySWEETaddiction <3
4:20 PM.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

it`s my second entry now.
was suppose`d to do my book promo powerpoint
but i`m not feelin well...

argh..
FEVER, FEVER, FEVER...
wen i was sick daa other time, you would often
tell me to go see a doc and wen i insist`d on not
goin.. you`ll sae that you`re my doc, my DR ENG.
but everythings diff now...
i`m all alonee and sick at home..
wonderin wen i could have you back.

wad shld i do to have you back again..
but will you take me back again if i prove it to you??

i noe i did sumthin wrg in da past.
but i`m reali waitin, pls dun doubt me...

YOU`RE DAA ONE WHO COMPLETE`D ME.
DUN MAKE THOSE PIECES SHATTER`D AGAIN.

another chance for me to prove to you that i can.
a chance for both of us to make things right again.
i may not be a perfect one or even an ideal one,
but i`ll try to be as perfect as i can...

*pls allow me to walk thru all these wid you.
i promise i`ll hold your hand tightly and prove
that i can reali do it.
i may not compromise as much as you,
but i`ll compromise more....

i may have not given you time spend for your
fwens, but i promise i can make that happen too..
i may not be alwaes goin down to jurong
but i can do that, jus for you..
anythin for you..... pls baby....
pls allow me to have another chance to hold you.

mySWEETaddiction <3
6:20 PM.

[/*EDIT`D]

woke up feelin so feverish.
and i`m down wid a fever...

wen i bath in daa mornin..
my whole body was shakin..
i knew i need`d you badly..

i shiver`d, i cry`d
my tears they drip are my lurf for you.

it jus keeps comin and leavin..
leavin me in a state of coldness a min
and warmness daa nxt.

cry`d myself to slp last night,
couldnt take daa blow, hugg`d eeyore
so tightly tinkin that i still have them..
but i realise`d that i need`d YOU not them.
kept readin daa msg`s you`ve sent me,
those pics we`ve taken...
my onli last memories that i hadd.

I LURF YOU.. WHYY DID YOU SAE THOSE STUFFS.
DO YOU NOE HOW MUCH IT HURTS = [
I LURF YOU... YOU NOE THAT..
WHYY, WHYY ARE YOU DOIN THIS TO ME??

peeps... i`m sorry.. but i reali dunno wad to do.

i`ll wait for my fairytale to come true again.
i`ll be strong, i cun breakdown...
i`ve thought of it.. i wana prove it to you.
i have loads to change jus for you.
so as for now... pls do leave slight chances for me.

i`m waitin for da dae that you`ll take me back
in your arms again
i lurf you my one&only baby.
[weilin ("V") derek]

THIS JUS HURTS SO MUCH,
BUT I`M HANGIN ON AS TIGHTLY AS I CAN...

as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now i look so scared
like for once i don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those eyes
Hoping to understand why
you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved..

mySWEETaddiction <3
2:28 PM.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

i broke down again while bathin..
i couldnt stop tinkin of wad i`ve done in daa aftnoon.

sorry peeps, i noe i`ve frighten you gurls..
but i reali felt so badd inside..
IT JUS TORE ME APART.
shiver`d and shiver`d aft wad i`ve done...
refuse`d to drink water even thou they force`d me to.

i weep`d, tear`d and cry`d..
but i still cun get to you.
save me from this dark hole, pull me up again.

PLS I BEG YOU, PLS.....
DUN THROW ME IN DERE,
IT HURTS, IT HURTS...
I`M GOIN CRAZY FROM EVERYTHIN..

havin FEVER but i`ll not have his
lurf, care and concern anymore...
he has left and left me..

pls dun apologise anymore.. it`s not your fault..
it`s all mine. i was daa cause of everythin.
it`s my fault that i`ve lost you...
i wan`d to give you happiness but alwaes enddin up
givin you miseries...
i`m sorry...
i wish i could hugg you once more = [

>> pls tell me that all this are a nightmare,
that it`s not true. that you`re still dere for me.
that i still have your huggs&kiss`s,
that you still lurf me...
THAT YOU`RE NOT GONE AT ALL...

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:07 PM.

it`s daa time of death, you left.
leavin me back to face this cold world
on my own...

time check [0800pm]

all alonee and helpless...
*overdose overdose overdose...

you pick`d me up to face reality,
to lurf you once again.
but now....
you left me all alonee to face everythin.

i nvr knew that this dae would come,
i thought everythin was alright.
you sae`d sorry for breakin your promise
bout not leavin. but that`s not wad i`m depress`d about.
depress`d cuz you left me all alonee to face this myself.

So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:10 PM.

Monday, July 25, 2005

pins down loads for todae.
my thoughts and feelins...

sch was as usual, that MS TAN P.L is freakin crazy.
she made us copy our chem formula corrections 10times
for every wrg ans we did.
conclusion>>
SHE DOESNT NOE HOW TO TEACH,
LOUSY TEACHER WHO CRYS LYK A BABY..

it`s daa flu, cough, sore throat and fever season.
everyone is gettin sick, and daa common tests are so near.
this whole week will be fill`d wid class tests, scuk`d alright.
hadd chinese test todae, a change`d in daa format.
but still wasnt clear on how to do. didnt revise either,
wasnt feelin well. felt dizzy in daa mornin...

assembly was interestin todae, we watch`d a video bout
SEX and those diseases we could contract from it.
daa guys were enthu, not a sound man.
alright guys shall always stay daa same. *smirks

wen for lunch at delifrance wid honey. wait`d for diana
and we wen home. hurry`d bath and left hse to meet
them again. wen to BK to study.
did some part of my chem corrections and read lil
bit of my maths. havin y paper tmr.. wad a dae i`ll have.

MY MON SPENT ALONEE WIDOUT YOU.

as for daa title...
it`s basically my first mon spent widout my
baby wid me. he has his BA 3on3 bball...
derefore we couldnt meet up at all, i was feelin
alright at first wen i was wid honey, but wen i walk`d
home in daa drizzle, i felt i wasnt alright at all..

was listenin to fm933 and all those sadd songs kept playin.
and daa sudden urge of seein you kept poppin into
my head but i knew i couldnt see ya at all till fri came..
while walkin in daa drizzle i too hadd daa sudden urge of
drinkin booz but i wasnt of enuff age to get it.

i walk`d feelin so lonely and alonee,
wishin i could see you right at daa moment
but i knew that was impossible...
i wish`d for your huggs&kiss`s but...

Thats right baby
I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you baby

Tell me that you really need me
and you want me and you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
I'll put it down be the woman for you

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:45 PM.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

SENTOSA, SENTOSA, SENTOSA
WHYY DID IT RAIN???
BUT STILL A FUN DAE..

woke up real early and wash`d up.
mum help`d me tie`d my bikini before goin to
daa market. *how nice = ]

got ready earlier den i expect`d so msg`d honey
tellin her that i`m ready.
met her at yishun mrt station.

met daa rest of them at khatib.
and xiuyuan was freakin late...
and so we gurls wen to daa washroom first.
BUT, wen we came out...
isaac and xiuyuan wen back to yishun to buy cigg.
we gurls were lyk WAD DAA HELL LAH!!!

we`re suppose`d to leave at 8.30 LATEST so we
could reach`d at 9.30.
but we endd`d up leavin at 9.30 cuz both of them wen
MISSIN and we hadd hard time contactin them.

train`d down to habourfront and took a daa shuttle bus dere.
freakin hell, saw peewee and gang at khatib tinkin i was
jus SWAY. but i saw them at sentosa too..
wad a dae... Lols..

it was a funFUNfun dae thou it kept rainin...
we wen to palawan beach and lil ppl were dere at first.
bury`d adeline and it rain`d and we kept runnin into shelter,
den aft sumtime it rain`d again...
daa whether was lyk playin a fool of us...
aft that we change`d place, we wen to siloso beach...
hadd seaweed fight dere and dug many hole in daa sand.
we made sandballs and threw it in daa water...

we gurls have hard time in daa toilet,
dere were freakin many ppl and we decide`d to
go another place in searchin for toilets.
BUT WE FAIL`D SO WE WALK`D BACK.
still freakin pack`d so we wen to daa chalet toilet..

hadd pastamania for dinner wid honey and baby.
walk`d ard and train`d back home.
saw his fwens, weihong and gang...
baby came to my hse and stay`d til 11...

HAPPY 4TH MTH, MY BABY..

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:39 PM.

Friday, July 22, 2005

nothin much happen`d in sch...

met my baby aft sch, he wen to my hse..
got home and got ready and stuffs..

left home and took 855 to queensway.
a long ride but a nice one too.
it felt reali good to jus sit beside and be dere.
wen to queensway to get my earrings and baby`s
ss2g shoe. walk`d ard and ard finally found my earrings.
baby was confuse`d on whether to get his shoes but finally
got it as it was a get bargain.

i didnt knew he could bargain... LOLS.

aft that we wen to search for his boxers and he ask`d
me which should he get.
so i sae`d DAA SPONGEBOB ONE!!!
aft that we wen ikea for a stroll ard...

took 855 home again.
daa ride was real long and baby slept on my shoulders.
winks winks... he look`d real cute aslp ok. haha.

wen to northpoint to get my SUSHI and homeSWEEThome.

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:40 PM.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

jus got home from northpoint wid shushan.

UPDATES UPDATES >>
todae`s game is reali GREAT i must sae. daa team work was
dere thou a few miss`s here and dere.
suppose`d to have onli 2games todae but due to last week`s
rain. we suddenly hadd another match.
thou we were shock`d but we jus try`d our best.
all those hard work pay`d off real greatly,
we won all daa match`s, we were lyk shock`d yet
feelin proud of ourselves = ]

injuries were bound to have.
hurt my both ankles, havin a blister on my finger,
over-stretch`d my right leg..

sch endd`d real fast todae. hadd racial harmony dae
celebration. daa clicks wore traditional costumes
except for me. lols. but i`m alright wid it.
I`M PROUD TO WEAR MY SCH UNIFORM.

that`s all that hadd happen`d todae i guess..
nothin reali much except that i`ll be havin more class tests
nxt week. *STRESS STRESS

hadd long john for dinner, thanks to shushan who acc me.
as usual, kept feelin lyk pukin. i`m reali wonderin wads
wid my body. was havin difficulty breathin daa whole dae too.
o yuh o yuh, not forgettin that i saw max in northpoint
on my wae home...

those 3cutiies can nvr eva take over you.
yes, they`ll be 24/7 dere, but i`ll still rather
have you right nxt to me.
yes yes, i do lurf them loads but nothin can
can be compare`d to my lurf for you.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:55 PM.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

was quite piss`d off, cuz baby was
suppose`d to meet me at 2pm. but endd`d
up meetin me onli at 4pm.

gave him a piss`d off face for very long before
smilin again. wen to BK first while waitin for guoqing
to reach, but i wan`d to go sembawang instead.
onli aft we got dere, we start`d talkin till bit.
couldnt hold on to those tears and i cry`d out.
ask`d him whyy must i alwaes cry to get your attention??

SHI BAI, SHI BAI = [

felt so good wen he hugg`d me. sumhow
it made me feel so safe and strong...
he study`d again, while i read my story book.

i hate daa feelin of wantin to puke every single time
aft i`ve eaten. i dunno wads wrg, it`s makin me spin!!!

left at ard 8plus, wen to northpoint for a stroll.
wen into minitoons as usual, miss those cutiies...
was urgent and need`d to go to daa LOO, baby den bought
my 3cutiies for me. was quite reluctant to accept it but
baby insist`d.

THANKS SO MUCH MY LAOGONG.
I`LL TREASURE THEM AND OF CUZ YOU TOO.

I'd go anywhere for you
Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you
Anything you want me to

I'd walk halfway around the world
For just one kiss from you
Far beyond the call of love
The sun, the stars, the moon
As long as your love's there to lead me
I won't lose my way believe me
Even through the darkest night you know.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:50 PM.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

todae is totally wash off..
it keeps rainin, from mornin till aft sch and stuffs.
= [

hope it doesnt rain on sat.
WE WANA TANN,
SO SUN PLS SHINE AS BRIGHTLY AS YOU CAN.

todae`s a rather drain`d dae for me.
as usual, jiemei gave me those
MORNIN ATTITUDES...

reali cun take it, but i didnt noe wad else to do.
talk`d to honey bout it and she suggest`d me doin daa
same thing back to her. hesitate`d for a lil while and decide`d
to gave it a try. i mean she ought to noe wad i`m goin thru..

kindah gave her a cold shoulder durin recess, but once i got
back to class, i felt real badd. last 2periods for poa, i wrote her
a letter. didnt noe wad to do, but i broke down out of a sudden.
i dunno whyy either, but i felt daa need to cry everythin out.
it has been inside me for so long, i need to get those
troubles out of me.
talkin to honey does help but it`ll still be stuck in my heart.

i cry`d till i couldnt breathe and felt lyk pukin.
i felt slightly better aft cryin out, i noe i scare`d honey at that
very moment but i reali needah cry out everythin.

jiemei sae`s that she`s sorry, and i reali hope she reali
does mean it. i reali dun have enuff energy to hold on
any longer, my limit is up already and i reali need
you to understand. i`ve been toleratin for wae too
long le. i reali need a break from this thingy...

it rain`d and was wonderin whether dere was still
netball. but no one inform`d anythin so i wen back to sch.
was freakin PISS`D wen it rain`d freakin heavily and alison
msg`d me saein that dere`s no netball.
wait`d in sch for so long for NOTHIN.
pls inform earlier nxt time lah, i have other things too alright.
it`s not as if netball takes over my life, dun go ard changin
daa trainin as and wen you wish.

i`m skippin dinner again. my appetite seems to be MIA.
i reali wun feel lyk eatin, i can even not eat daa whole dae.
i hope i`m not becomin an anorexic...

Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

mySWEETaddiction <3
5:35 PM.

Monday, July 18, 2005

basically was freakin piss`d off over sum stuffs...

was suppose`d to be me and my baby spendin time alonee,
but due to his fwen and their paper tmr....
we wen to meet him in daa endd to study.

DERE`S GOES OUR HONEY DATE.

wait`d for baby aft sch at tishun mrt station,
he was LATE. lols.
hadd a weird feelin that sumone was at home,
call`d home but no one ans`d. try`d callin mum`s
hp, was right. she was at home!!!

wen baby`d reach`d, told him that mum`s home.
wen home, freakin piss`d still...
wen online and told steph how piss`d i was feelin
and stuffs. sent her sum songs den wen to bathe
and got ready to leave home.

wen to BK, read my story book and did NOTHIN.
was feelin bored but baby was studyin, he`s havin a paper tmr
so i was a goody lil gurl. jus sat dere and read my book.

we were dere till 7.30pm.
wen northpoint, walk`d ard and brought baby to
see daa bra i wan`d to get. lol, he brought me
to see boxers. but all were so ugly and he didnt lyk it.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:05 PM.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

lets see..
it`s my second entry for daa dae.

dunno wad to blogg but havin daa sudden urge to
pin stuffs down, thou i`m not sure wad i`ll type.

haven felt so lonely for sumtime already, guess
i jus got so use`d to alwaes havin you ard me and stuffs.
no wonder ppl alwaes sae that gurls who gets into relationships
alwaes depend on their other half too much and wen things
go wrg, they normally cannot take daa bigg blow.

and so daa LONELY feelin scuks lyk shit.
thou i have you but yet i feel so alonee todae.

havin chem formula test tmr, but i`m reali
not feelin well. first, daa breathless moments
den daa dizzy feelin...
it drags me down till i feel so weak.

i`m real glad that i didnt tink much of stuffs todae,
or things will definitely go wrg again..
onli hadd sum penny thoughts, here and dere.

and and I`M REALI MISSIN HIM SO MUCH NOW.
I`LL HUGG HIM SO TIGHTLY IF I`M ABLE TO SEE HIM.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:05 PM.

i`m not feelin very good now.
i guess daa weather is jus makin everyone sick.
but me, i`m not jus sick phsically but inside daa heart too.

your nick saes >>
<~Derek 9~>did i ever flash thru ur mind?->9<-

i wonder wad does that mean.
do you reali dunno how impt you are to me or
you`re jus puttin it on purpose.

cuz nothin can eva change`d daa factt that
you`re more impt to me den anythin else.
of cuz, that includes my life too...

my head has been spinnin since ytd.
and i havent been feelin reali well lately.

daa whole dae shall be spent rottin at home i guess.
baby is havin his exams and stuffs...
so... yupps yupps..

my neighbour is singin karaok so freakin
loudly. lyk WTH...
they`re makin my head worse..
i bet my dad can sing so much better...

i reali miss my baby so much.
i feel so weird widout havin him anywher
near me at all...
i miss his huggs&kiss`s so much that
i`ll sacrifice anythin to have them foreva...

GOOD LUCK BABY, I`LL ALWAES BE DERE.

An overdose inside my soul
I try so hard to let it go
But you're the only thing that makes me feel
Let's steal time and stay forever
And if we bleed we bleed together
If I had one day to choose
I'd spend it forever, I'd spend it with you

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:30 PM.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

was viewin ard fwenster as i was reali bored.
a sudden thought came right to me.
i guess jiejie was right, no matter wad happens,
nothin can change`d their bigg egos,
nothin can make them take awae their first pority.

his fwenster wrote this >>

i love basketball... u can say i married it.... haha!
but i love my ger too... basketball is my life...
i strive to play basketball the rest of my life....

peeps, i noe wad you guys will tell me aft readin..
I NOE, but pls understand and tink of how i`m feelin...
he hates me tinkin so much, so this shall be between
me, myself and my blogg.

i`m impt to him, yes i noe.
but under daa impt list,
can you ppl tell me where do i reali stand???

i miss those times wen everythin seem`d so perfect.
nothin is perfect, yes i noe
but at least, it was yet so close to a perfect life
i`ve wish`d for all along..

HAPPY TIMES NVR SEEMS TO LAST FOR ME.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:10 PM.

hadd tuition in daa mornin, but left slightly
earlier as i hadd to meet up wid our W.A.Y gang.
told my tuition teacher that i`ve gotta rush off...
hurry`d home and got change`d and stuffs, wen to meet
honey at yishun mrt station first..

we train`d down to town, meetin jiemei at khatib first.
hadd coffeeclub for lunch at paragon.
i ate bake`d chicken macoronni, ice choc and fondue.

walk`d all daa wae to fareast to find our BIKINIS!!!
was so confuse`d on which colour to get at first, but we
got daa black one in daa endd.
SHOP`D, SHOP`D, SHOP`D...

wen to john little to get my flops, and it was on sale
i guess. as it was real cheap.
honey`s flops broke half-wae so we wen back again and
she got a new flops = ]
met jiejie at her workplace, brought honey and jiemei dere
for a look... nothin caught our eye, so we walk`d to PS.

walk`d ard, bought sushi and jiemei got herself a mango puddin.
train`d down to marina bay and back to yishun.
jiemei alight`d a stop before us.
honey and i wen to northpoint to shop ard.
I`M GONNA GO GET DAA EARRINS!!!

wen to try out daa bra we aim`d a week ago.
fit`d us jus fine, we`re startin to LURF bras now.
gonna go get it nxt week.
wen to another shop and saw sum nice tubes too,
wen to try`d it.
we lurf both so we`re still decidin on which to get...

jus found out that my mum cook`d dinner.
rare chance that my mum cooks, but i`ve got lyk no appetite
at all.. i`m hungry, yes i am. but i dun feel lyk eatin...

he isnt replyin... o man o man..
she`s a sadd sadd gurl, waitin for her prince
to appear right infront of her...

i miss you so much.
i miss you embracin me tightly,
feedin me my favourite cheesecake and
wipin my mouth aft i`m done wid it....

my dreams came true,
wen i found you.
if you could see wad i see,
you`re daa ans to my prayers.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:11 PM.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

i shall rush thru this entry.
gotta hurry get ready to meet my baby and guoqing.
we`re gonna go MUGMUGMUG our wae thru...

sch was rather alright todae.
poa was havoctic, everyone was irritatin
mr joseph. hence, his shoutin begin...

as usual, real fun time durin geog period.
startin to lyk daa wae mr alan is tryin to coach us thru
powerpoint. instead of readin thru daa textbk = ]
was payin full attention and laughin awae,
wen mr alan start`d catchin our attention for
sum stuffs he did... lols.

was rainin wen sch endd`d.
first word that came into my mind was SHIT!!!
how am i suppose`d to get home widout gettin
drench`d up. so i use`d my long leggies...
*muahahaha muahahaha
walk`d freakin fast, saw kerry at daa concourse and took
daa train together. hadd shelter till daa over-head bridge
area. so walk`d in daa rain again...
lucky me, i was in my PE attire hence dere was
nothin to "see"...

peeps...
our famous nbss gurls' thingy wen it rains...
guys that normally will go GAGAGAGA wen
they see. guess you peeps shld noe..
i was slightly wet thou, i`m sure gonna have headaches
later or mayb even worse, FEVER.
daa usual stuffs that comes aft i walk`d in daa rain...

and and i`ll be back LATER for more updates.
gotta get goin, bathe and pack my stuffs...
i wouldnt wana be late meetin my lil one = ]

loveLOVElove...
o yuh.. not forgettin..
i LOVE my fishball LOADS!!!!
she`s my happy bunny, alwaes dere
wen i`m down, she RAWKS man...

mySWEETaddiction <3
2:05 PM.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

DUN U EVA STARE AGAIN AT ME.
I DUN F***IN CARE WHETHER U`RE
MY SISTA, U`RE GETTIN ON MY NERVES!!!
DUN PUSH DAA LIMIT TOO FARR,
DUN LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF AGAIN.
CUZ I`LL SLAP YOU AGAIN...
U`RE GETTIN INTO URSELF INTO SUM
SHIT WHICH YOU ARE AINT READY FOR..
U`RE PISSIN ME OFF GURL...

sch was good todae.
most lessons were spent in daa com lab,
which of course was great cuz daa weather
was so contridictin...

todae jiemei`s mood was a bit to daa moody
side, was so stress`d up over it.
sum times reali very tired of ren-in. i mean
dere`s a limit to everythin, dere goes my
limit too. didnt noe who to turn to, wrote
letters ard wid honey. tellin her how crop`d up
i was feelin. so tired but yet so HELPLESS = [

honey acc me to northpoint again, wen to
get baby`s favourite cookies but a diff flavour
this time thou. as he as request`d. lols.

was suppose`d to get ready and wait
for him to reach`d, but endd`d up meetin at
daa mrt station instead. bought lunch and head`d home.

watch`d tv, blah blah blah...
dad got home ard 5plus 6. wasnt reali
in daa mood for anythin, told baby that we`ll go
other places to study or wad so eva. as long
as i`m not stay`d put at home.
walk`d ard northpoint, and wen to bk for sum studyin..
guoqing reach`d aft sumtime, chit-chat`d as usual.

was freakin piss`d off wid this PHS gurl at power9,
who try`d to get body contact from my baby.
WAD A SLUT!!! dun try to seduce him pls...
he`s taken, OPEN YOUR SLUTISH EYES...

walk`d ard, wen to timezone for sum shootin..
my shoulders are hurtin, i`m afraid of draggin
daa whole team down, my bag wasnt heavy but
yet it hurts... i`m sorry gurls...

saw a poor lil kitten outside econ minimart.
got in and bought a can food for it, place`d it
on daa floor, and look`d at it nibble...

saw my idiot sista who stare`d at me AGAIN.
wads her f***in prob lah. bth her lah. crazy asshole,
BO DAI BO JI, DIAO SI MI DIAO LAH.

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never seperate us
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way ...

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:35 PM.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

YOU JOLLY WELL NOE THAT I`VE
CHANGE`D. DUN FCUKIN MAKE IT SOUND
AS IF I REALI DID IT.
CUZ I DID NOT AT ALL!!!
MUST EVERYTHIN BE BLAME`D ON ME.
IT WAS OUTSIDE, NOT IN MY ROOM
FOR GOODNESS SAKE AND I DIDNT DO IT.

felt real happy todae, sat wid honey for
all those periods before recess...
we both open`d up so much, felt
real happy. havin sumone in common,
havin same interest, same common topic to
chat about...

hadd our netball photo takin session todae.
things did not reali wen daa wae it was
suppose`d to be thou...

daa start of daa inter-hse match todae,
everythin wen well at daa start, but it rain`d so heavy
that a few match`s have to be postpone`d.

my team won elaine`s team todae,
not very happy wid my performance thou..
my shotin wen haywire, i felt pain on my back,
feet and shoulders...
injure`d my shoulder lil bit, and hadd to defend onli
usin one of my hand...

Nobody can make me cry,
Nobody else can do it,
Nobody but you.
There is nobody can make it right,
Nobody else can do it,
Nobody but you.

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:40 PM.

Monday, July 11, 2005

baby got here ard 4plus, if i`ve not rmb`d wrgly.
was actually intendin to do my book promotion
powerpoint but didnt in daa endd.

felt real guilty bout daa other dae..
as i sae`d before MOODSWINGS SCUKS.
hugg`d him real tightly and apologise`d loads of time.
he knew that i was gonna get him daa cookies,
but seein daa smile on his face jus brighten`d up my dae.

watch`d tv and wen online...
baby wan`d to eat pizzahuts drumlets so
we order`d pizza..
we order`d chicken supreme, baby`s favourite
i guess = ]

he stay`d till 10pm.
i LOVELOVELOVE him soooo much.

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:13 PM.

was talkin bout sentosa this mornin on daa wae to sch..
am not sure whether this sat we`re goin, but nvm...

talk`d bout it in class, decide`d to go sentosa wid honey
and jiemei. of course havin onli three peeps wun be
of enuff fun. so jio`d dada korkor, isaac, israel and baohui.

GUYS PLS DUN FORGET,
DUN PLAY MIA (missin in action) TOO.
THANKS = ]
date >> nxt sat ( 23rd july )
venue >> discuss it in class wen it`s nearer.

hadd class photo takin todae.
funFUNfun...
we`re all enjoyin except daa part where
we, daa second row was suppose`d to squeeze together.
our class is very big, 41 PPL, so we`re all
SQUEEZIN, SQUEEZIN, SQUEEZIN...

todae`s assembly SCUK`D, i must sae.
they made daa whole level bored lyk hell,
we`re practically findin stuffs to entertain ourselves.
lucky me, i hadd bekah and fishball beside me.
so i was quite entertain`d.
not forgettin havin that siao char bo weili behind me...
they were RACIST ok. daa performers were
either malays or indians.
SO WhERE WERE DAA CHINESE???

ask`d honey to acc me to northpoint.
wen to get baby`s favourite cookie...
wan`d to get him his favourite choc milk too,
but he sae`d he wasnt sure whether he`s still comin.
so didnt got that in daa endd...
wen to minitoons to get rubberbands too.

saw a nice bra in john little,
me and honey are gonna get it nxt week i guess.
of course, provide`d we have save`d enuff money.
but we`re comfirm gettin another bikini..
gave my brown one to jiemei, since it was quite small.

JIEMEI & TF KORKOR
>> HAPPY 1YR 4MTHS

Stand By You,
If you want me too,
I'm gonna stand by you,
If you want me tonight
,I will stand by you,
Stand by you,
Cos I wanna be stay with you...

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:35 PM.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

jus got home from tuition not longg..
woke up at 7.30 feelin so tired. was intendin
of skippin tuition again, but i cun...

drag`d myself out of bed and wen to get ready.
tuition was suppose`d to endd at 10.30,
but since i wasnt in a rush to go anywher...
tuition endd`d at 10plus 11.

got home and wen online...
dad suddenly look`d at me askin

dad >> wads wrg wid you???
me >> nothin... whyy??
dad >> you and derek quarrel`d isit?? whyy you look so moody todae..
me >> huh.. nonsense.. we`re fine. nothin happen`d.
dad>> okok. if you sae so. but you better not get your
studies affect`d alright.
dad >> even if you two break up or wad... you must be strong,
dun get your studies affect`d!!!
me >> yuh yuh.. nothin happen`d lah..

frankly, yuh things did happen`d. but
i`ll never tell you too..
anyway you onli wan`d me to concentrate on
my studies all alongg, so i dun see a need in tellin.

my appetite seems to be awae aft that thing happen`d.
i`ve not been feelin hungry lately, and i`ll of
cuz not eat either.. but mum jus force`d me to
have my breakfast, she wen down to get me food...

she was lyk
>> how can you keep skippin your meals.. you better eat,
i`ll go get it for you. so dere goes... i`m bein force`d once again...

so dere goes... i`m bein force`d once again...

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:15 AM.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

chattin wid zhizhong korkor...
openin up to him now, it`s lyk i feel
much better sumhow.. cuz sumone`s dere
to listen and sort stuffs out together wid me...

`` zz grab hold of me says:
mei mei ah
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u lurf him
`` zz grab hold of me says:
he lurf u
`` zz grab hold of me says:
if u dun wan things to go worse now
`` zz grab hold of me says:
i tel u
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u better stop falling down
`` zz grab hold of me says:
n get up
`` zz grab hold of me says:
r state now
`` zz grab hold of me says:
ur making things worse lehss
`` zz grab hold of me says:
nobod is happy now
`` zz grab hold of me says:
stand up n be strong
`` zz grab hold of me says:
show him ur strong lahs
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u continue like that
`` zz grab hold of me says:
it wil be forever like this
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u dun wan right?
<<_nvr plan`d growin old widout YOU its us; jus you&me says:
yupps
`` zz grab hold of me says:
so now
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u better stand up
`` zz grab hold of me says:
if u dun
`` zz grab hold of me says:
u wil continue falling
`` zz grab hold of me says:
til e time u cnnt get up
`` zz grab hold of me says:
then jia lat le

aft i saw wad he type`d i jus couldnt help it,
i start`d tearin.. i understood wad he was tryin
to tell me. but daa prob now is whether i can stand
up from all this...
i reali dun wana add more miseries to him le = [

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:00 PM.

thanks to siree. she acc me out.
was reali moody, and wan`d so badly to get out of daa hse.
hadd no wher to go, so acc her to tf hse to see his dog.
reach`d dere, play`d wid giant and watch`d tv.

took giant for a walk ard tf hse.
wen to 755 park. play`d and chat`d lil while,
wen to daa coffeshop nearby and pack`d food back.
was quite reluctant to eat. afraid that i`ll feel lyk pukin
again. but siree gurlie, wan`d me to eat.
ate oyster fry`d egg, it`s nice but quite oily thou.
immediately aft i finish`d i felt lyk pukin again.
but i kept ren-in.

watch`d daa eye10 again, play`d daa sims2 wid siree.
it`s was funFUNfun, did nothin but wen ard lookin for hse`s.

left at 8plus.
am home now. as expect`d, skip`d my dinner.
have totally no appetite, ate strawberrys instead.

well.. i`m glad that things are slightly better now..
i reali got scare`d daa shit out of myself last night.
it was a torment`d moment that i hadd.

mySWEETaddiction <3
8:51 PM.

woke up havin mix`d feelins inside.
fwens are reali great, they`re all dere for me wen
i reali need ppl dere..
*thanks peeps = ]

was suppose`d to have tuition.. but reali wasnt havin any mood at all.
i wun concentrate either, so decide`d to change
it to tmr. and and daa slot is freakin early.
it`s gonna be at 8.30am, how sadd.
skippin all my meals for todae... takin it as a punishment for ytd...
other den doin this, i reali dunno wad to do.
even if i`m startin to have gastrics, i dun tink i`ll be eatin...
i need a real hush punishment for ytd.

chattin wid jiemei now, she`s tryin her best to reassure me
that everythins gonna be alright..
but whether things will be alright, i`ll noe.
no one can change`d daa fact that i`ve been screwin everythin lately.

i miss you,
i miss you,
i miss you...
carry on to hold me tight and dun let go.
she`s afraid of everythin that will threaten to
take you awae from her...

jiemei >>
i`ll be fine i guess. dun worry too much for me...

siree >>
thanks gurl. but sumtimes goin thru hush punishments
jus makes me learn how to not take things for grant`d.

ilhammi >>
thanks dude. thanks for tryin your very best to cheer me up
even thou you`re very upset now. i appreciate`d it... and as for you,
pls dun tink so much. go sort of things wid her and things will be fine..
i`m alwaes jus a phone call awae alright = ]

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:37 AM.

Friday, July 08, 2005

TORN APART,
BLEEDIN LYK I`VE NEVER DID.
DROPS & DROPS OF BLOOD...
FLOWS, FLOWS & FLOWS...

for peeps out dere who are readin
-->

I`VE JUS SCREW`D MY LIFE FOR DAA WORSE.
AND I REALI MEAN DAA WORSE...
A DAE OF FUN WAS RUIN BY ME TO A DAE
OF ANGER, SADDNESS AND CRYIN...

i reali wan`d him to be happy,
that`s all i`m eva askin...
but every single time, it`ll turn out ugly.

his tired, his tired...
pls.. wad am i suppose`d to do.
TELL ME. ANYONE!!!

met him, and hadd a real badd mood swing.
cry`d in town.
confuse`d, angry and sadd??
whyy...
whyy am i suchah selfish gf??

i tink i`ve add enuff miseries in your life...
i tink i`ve reach`d daa limit already.
but todae...
i`m real sure that i`ve reach`d daa limit...

peeps >> those who have blades and stuffs.. dun mind passin it to me in sch on mon.
thanks real loads

it`s enuff. enuff of everythin,
daa screwin ups, daa cryin and those nonsense.
i dunno whyy i`m lyk that now..
i reali dun.
but pls rmb, i`ve got totally no intentions in
tearin this r/s apart.
pls... pls...

*i`m cryin. and i cun stop.
i`m sadd and sorry for everythin that i`ve cause`d.
i`ve broke everythin.. every single thing.
you`ve got all right to feel tired...

i have enuff of myself.. and i nearly lost him.
my precious baby, my one and only..
can sumone jus give me a real hard slap!!!
so i`ll be awake and stop dreamin...

my eyes are swellin and my heart`s tearin...
all i wana sae is...
baby, i`m real sorry....

mySWEETaddiction <3
10:14 PM.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

sch was real funFUNfun todae.
enjoy`d myself loads = ]

play`d badminton durin PE, pair`d up wid jiemei
as usual. and we`ve been lyk a pair since sec1.
HOW SWEET OK!!!
chat`d wid mr subash lil while aft PE, he`s leavin for a course
and will only teach us again next year.
our very last lesson wid him todae, i lyk him alright.
he`s a real niceNICEnice teacher i must sae.

pay`d full attention durin geog period, and i guess mr alan
was real please`d wid daa whole class.
except for a lil while wen he flare`d up at isaac again.
poa test was alright. excitin i shall sae.
everyone start`d memorisin daa advantages last min,
daa guys were real cute ok, sum wrote daa ans on daa
note pad given ytd. sum place`d it in their wallets and
sum under daa cover of their calculator.
andy wasnt in sch wen daa topic "petty cash" was taught.
so he wasnt clear TOTALLY.
taught him daa basic ytd, but HE FORGOTTEN.
how sadd = [
so told him daa ans and format durin daa test.
use`d my water bottle to cover`d my mouth while tellin
him everythin. guess it`ll turn out good, i hope.

wen for lunch wid jiemei and honey aft sch.
a last min decision to go 848 by jiemei,
and was agree`d by both of us = ]
we ate cheeeeken rice and rojak. *yums yums
walk`d ard ABC supermart and NTUC fairprice.
we wen lookin ard for face masks and stuffs
to lighten our dark eyebags.
finally found daa eyebag thingy and i told them
that i`ll bring them to town to get daa masks as cine
sells them. wid diff kindah for faces...

hadd trainin jus now. trainin was alright,
except that alison and i got piss`d off by a sec1.
i mean, if you`re afraid to do these and that.
whyy even bother joinin netball...
shyy for wad, as if you`re daa onli doin.
we`re all doin daa drills too wad.
dun give me attitude gurl, i aint gonna take that.
you either listen or QUIT, since you dun have daa
passion for netball, go join sum other cca that suits
you better den netball...

did daa usual stuffs.
warm ups, drills, ball passin and friendly for all.
tink i`ve lost sum fats todae, aft trainin out for so longg.
daa start of daa inter-hse match`s are next week.

TRAIN HARD GURLS,
IT`S JUS A SUMTHIN TO IMPROVE YOU
GURLS BETTER. BEFORE SETTIN OUT
FOR SUMTHIN MORE CHALLENGIN
GOOD LUCK ALL HSES...
CHEEROS = ]

mySWEETaddiction <3
7:30 PM.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

home real early todae den usual....

daes that were actually plan`d to meet my baby
are gettin lesser and lesser...
time spent are naturally gettin lesser too,
esp. daa things that are keepin us busy everydae.

sch`s great todae. hadd a great time wid dajie
reliefin my class for eng as mr foo wasnt here.
and so i`ve got real serious wid my work these few daes,
mayb daa thought of not makin it up to sec5
jus scares me LOADS.

hadd a great time durin geog todae,
mr alan brought us to daa com lab. hadd 2periods
of geog but endd`d up learnin nothin i must sae.
1period was use`d to set up daa laptop,
daa nxt period was use`d to lecture US.
isaac got him real madd that he nearly sent isaac to RTC.
it`s suppose`d to be out of fun, but he did waste`d our
lesson time teachin NOTHIN.

hadd ting sie todae, wrote it on daa table as usual.
lols. isaac and bao hui nearly got themselves
into sum shit. isaac wrote it on a piece of tissue and
bao hui wrote it on his hand.
both got caught in daa endd, and it was freakin funny.

chem was basically BORIN todae.
did chem formulas...
was havin daa urge to fall aslp...

wen to daa loo durin poa, our daily routine
for poa lesson. try`d and took out my earsticks.
my left ear is FULLY heal and as for my right..
it scuks alright. it keeps bleedin.
so honey press`d out those yucky stuffs for me,
bleed as usual and i tear lil bit.
mr joseph was bein an iriitatin pest, he saw me in pain
and sae`d " if it`s not impt, dun do it now"
and he got sum nice thrashin from me...
was hurtin lyk shit, she`s real niceNICEnice.
she den put back in my earsticks for me = ]

havin poa (petty cash) test tmr, may revise it later.
gotta do my powerpoint for nxt fri book promotion
either later or nxt week...

I MISS HIM LOADS.
those huggs&kiss`s.
The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
i ask`d myself time and time again
whether i`m wide awake.
for fear that all these wonderful times spent wid
you are jus a dream i`m havin.

mySWEETaddiction <3
3:07 PM.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

FCUKIN PISS`D OFF NOW.

dun fcukin scold me jus cuz she hadd stir`d up sum trouble
which has freakin NOTHIN TO DO WID ME.
so DUN FCUKIN DRAG ME IN.

and dun pull me and my baby in.
dun drag us into anythin.
dun change`d daa topic and start lecturin me.
so wad if we held hands and lie on each other???
didnt you do it too???

WHO SAE`D THAT A 15 YR OLD GURL CUN FALL IN LURF???
WHO SAE`D THAT YOU NEED`D PERMISSION TO FALL I N LURF???

dun sound as if you`re perfect!!!
YOU`RE NOT!!!!
you jolly well noe that i`ve known wad i did wrg in daa past.
but who sae`s that once i`ve done wrg i cun turn back???
I DID. I REALI DID.
SO DUN SOUND AS IF I`LL DO WRG ONCE AGAIN.

I HATE YOU FOR BRINGIN UP DAA PAST.
IT`S SUPPOSE`D TO BE GONE. IT`S NOT SUPPOSE`D
TO HUANT ME NOW. HAVEN YOU DID ENUFF ALREADY.
CUN YOU SEE THAT YOUR DAUGHTER`S HEART
HADD BEEN SCAR`D ALREADY.
HOW MUCH NIGHTMARES DO YOU WAN ME TO CARRY
ON GOIN THRU. CUN YOU JUS ACCEPT THAT I`M
NOT THAT CHILDISH LIL DAUGHTER ANYMORE.

--------------------------------------------------

wen for trainin. as usual, was freakin slack`d for daa first trainin.

did crunch`s, push-ups, steps & tip-toes, ball throwin...

and so everyones skills were lyk SHIT.

i guess it`s cuz we haven been trainin at all for daa 1mth holi.

which we`re actually suppose`d to due to sum stuffs...

my leggs are givin me probs these daes, it`ll go numb lyk anythin

esp, readin period. i`ll go woah... cun walk properly..

so ah koh was tellin me bout daa cap & vice-cap thingy.

told her that i dun mind bein daa vice-cap. it doesnt reali

make a diff. i`m not in netball for those posts either...

wen to have dinner wid jerlyn and van.

talk`d loads, aft a longg time of not catchin up..

hadd fun, walk`d ard and wen home.

JUS DO ME A FAVOUR, LEAVE YOUR DAUGHTER ALONEE

AND STOP LETTIN DAA PAST HUANT HER ONCE AGAIN.

SHE HADD ENUFF. LET HER MOVE ON AND START ANEW.

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:10 PM.

Monday, July 04, 2005

it`s 1.24am, suppose`d to be aslp.
but that lil heart is reali heavy right at this moment.
jus hung up daa phone wid baby,
reali didnt noe wad to sae at all.

you sae`d that you`re afraid to lose me out of
those small quarrels we have...
you wun, that`s a promise.
it`s not worth it at all either, whyy would i give up
this relationship wen i`m still so in lurf wid you.
i`ve told you before, mentionin that word from me
will never come.... you noe that.

i can alwaes help others wid relationship probs,
but i can never eva help myself...
whyyWHYYwhyy???

I JUS CUN LOSE YOU BABY,
so pls jus understand lil more bout how i`ll
feel cuz those words reali hit`d me greatly.

till now, my heart is still repeatin wad you`ve
sae`d to me.

mySWEETaddiction <3
1:33 AM.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

while typin this entry, tears are rollin.
my heart`s real real heavy. i`m sorry.

and so once again, i couldnt stand not bringin
up daa past. which of course lead us to a quarrel
once again.

i wana be a real good gf. but i`m jus so useless i guess.
no matter how much i try, things seems to alwaes screw up.
which of course alwaes endd up tearin me APART.
my heart reali wen heavy, i didnt noe wad to do.
try`d real hard to communicate but i guess i`ve reach`d daa limit.
couldnt stand it anymore, kindah flare`d up.
mention`d daa past. you got real straight forward wid me.
it hurts, daa words you sae`d hit`d me real hard.
drownin in sadd songs, i reali dunno wad else to do.
i`m in a state of confusion.

i feel lyk i`m in a fairytale wen everythins alright,
once daa worse comes, it seems lyk it`ll vanish right
infront of me.

i`m in daa wrg for bringin up daa past,
i`m in a wrg to keep mentionin her,
i`m in a wrg to make things wrg in everyway.
but all i wan`d was jus daa past to go.
i noe it`s hard for you, it`s totally impossible
for that to happen too...

but do you noe how i`m reali feelin inside???
it`s feels so heavy every single time i tink that
i couldnt be as good as her to you.
wana make you feel fortunate but yet alwaes endd
up addin miserys to you.
i noe that daa past shld jus remain as daa past.
but it often haunt me.
even wen i`m aslp, it doesnt leave me alonee.
that`s how much i`m afraid to lose you, baby...

it feels real miserable to noe that i could never
give you that happiness i wan`d to.
that lil heart hurts so deep, feelin heavy and
she could not breathe thru all this.
in her mind, all she longs for you to be happy.
no matter wad it takes, she`ll try her very best.

mySWEETaddiction <3
11:53 PM.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

hadd tuition as usual at 10.
did maths(variations), maths corrections and
did some chem corrections too.

was suppose`d to baby todae, but wen i call`d him
aft tuition he was still aslp.
so it was an obvious miss for todaes meetin.
told him to go back to slp. but he was worry`d i`ll bored
to death at home. which i normally will,
but todae`s an exception.
saw tf, jiemei and my cousin downstairs.
they brought their dogs out for strollin...
so my cousin ask`d us whether we wana go out.
i was alright wid daa plans as no plans were made at all.
got home and change`d up and gave jiemei daa pencil case
i bought ytd at suntec... = ]
wen to tf hse. he need`d to change too.
his dogg is reali CUTE but very lazy.. Lols.

wen to habour front to shop`d ard. but didnt manage`d
to get time for shoppin. daa guys were into walkin ard 'safe'
so... as usual, gave in. bought a vcd 'bring it on again'
a new one i guess. nice show, gonna watch`d it on mon wid
baby. HE`S COMIN DOWN.

i`m willin to be dere for you
no matter wad happens
i simply lurf bein close by your side
and i jus wana alwaes be close by
i`m jus sooo in lurf wid you
that it`s burnin up inside...

mySWEETaddiction <3
9:16 PM.